Comments
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Link wasn't working for me Carroll.
hard hitting lyric. Anger can be a very real reaction to loss, so this rings true to me. Lots of rich detail there, like the encounter with the father.
It seems like it is still unresolved at the fi…
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Cool. I particularly like the chorus, and these lines:
Sisters and Brothers, wives and husbands
Family and friends
This is obviously a personal song, and beyond that an American song, but still enjoyable fo…
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Classic B.Hengen lyric!
The only sensible comment I can make is that the growly vocals in the verses make it hard to understand the lyric, and surely you want the listener to hear them clearly. The choruses are a bit clearer though.
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I like how you're using the other side of town as a place where everything bad happens, so when "you're somewhere doin' somethin', On the other side..." it automatically comes across as bad.
Talking about "the other side" automatically cre…
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I like your choice of music for this - not too heavy. It's a sad situation but the lyric isn't overly emotional, so a good match.
"I’m not sure we’re even friends" -ouch! That one's heavy!
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Excellent! Enjoy!
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I like "money says goodbye", I can imagine everyone nodding at that.
"This time next year" doesn't quite hit hard enough as a hook to me. It all sounds very smooth and polished, but it doesn't quite draw me in the way some of your others do…
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Songs like this one have to come from the heart - as it does here. I can hear the feelings come through.
Old age is a b**, and the alternative is worse!
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Great lyric. It all hangs together very nicely.
I really liked: l was fire, you were gasoline"
But maybe something else on the line after rather than returning to "We had bad chemistry."?
Perhaps "Volatile. incendiary", but then…
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No worries Renee! Every decision is yours to make. I just throw things at you!
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It's an interesting vibe Tammy. I get the feeling of regret, yet wanting to continue, but this goes further. There seems to be elements of self disgust in there, and that's pretty full on. It doesn't come across as love to me, unapologetic or oth…
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To C for 4 then Am for 4, or at least try how it sounds.
I got that it was the singer remembering thanks to "Reminds me", but I think it takes the focus away from the listener that you set up in V1.
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Beautiful lyric. A simple structure is perfect for this. Just letting all the emotion shine through.
In terms of the production mix, you might consider simplifying the guitar a little - it's almost competing for attention with the vocal her…
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Feeling of a lot of bitter experience here.
"It won’t be his heart you’re hearing" - nice line!
You might trying going down to the Am or Am7 on the 2nd and 4th lines of your verse rather than hanging on the C there, try how that soun…
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I like that opening verse a lot. Very dramatic. It sets up danger, with the narrator, as the hidden predator, being the main issue.
The chorus feels at odds with that, or at least only partially aligned. The switch to "Truth is an illusion"…
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That came out well. It's a bit more upbeat than I was imagining, but that's a choice. Makes it a bit more commercial friendly.
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The verse and the chorus have the same melody at that moment, and it would be better if they were different. That's a bit tricky when you're singing against a backing track, but to the extent that you can, I would try to separate them somehow.
That's a great theme. I'm guessing most people are going to agree with that!
Lyric has a touch of Country, the music feels straight pop to me - not a criticism I think it works really well.
It's a great track, Elvis! 😀
Reads like an acid trip! Very vivid.
The 6 verses fit well because of the tempo of the music.
Musically I like the choruses and Bridge more. The vocal on the verses is a bit and harsh and croaky for my taste, though it fits the metal …
Strong message Renee. This is all about calling it as you see it, and the message is coming through loud and clear.
A couple of minor things.
"raped and worst", I think should be "raped and worse"
and "Let’s not forget the slum-…
What I like about this last couple from you is how different they are from the songs you sing yourself.
You're writing them to suit a specific style and that takes skill. Kudos for that.
I think there's an audience for this. It's got a commercial pop vibe going. The upbeat musical style matches the vibe of the lyric.
Is this one AI Elvis? If it is, can you mark it accordingly, as that's our policy for TSF, to clearly indica…
I like both of those more, but the last one feels the better to me. I like the manic intensity of it as a match to the lyric.
It's a good question! I'm not exactly sure what's bothering me about it. It's all a bit upper freq range. The drums are a bit repetitive, though clearly they fit the theme. It might be just me on this one!
I like that literal interpretation of "dancing with your demons" - the Tango seems particularly appropriate!
Not as keen on the music for this one. I like the dance vibe matching the lyric, but it didn't quite hit the mark for me.
Bre…
I love this line: "Nothing beats a real heart" with the double meaning of "beats"
It's a feelgood song, and there's a lot of warmth to it. One to make us all feel good.
If your brother loves it, then it's perfect!
A lot of love and affection coming through.
It is easy to get burnt out. I think more than anything, we just have a small number of active users on the forum at the moment. As you said, you're an old hand here John. Do what you think is best. You'll be welcome if and when you choose to pos…
This is another fun one. I like the rockier feel of it too.
Enjoyed that!
A depressing song, but it conveys that really well. There's no doubt how this man is feeling.
The chorus feels a little short to me, but that does depend on the music it's set to.
As a suggestion:
Lord knows she’s trie…
Howdy, Stranger!