Comments
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It is more direct, but like you I prefer the first version.
You could possibly write two versions, one for your therapy, and one for a wider consumption, assuming you wanted to.
This is such a personal lyric, that whatever <…
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I like how you've structured the chorus, with those very short alternating lines, and then the long emphasis on "Yes".
I'm not sure about V1. V2 feels stronger and more direct, you could even open with that potentially, though you do want …
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I don't really have a system for this. For me it's a case by case thing. I'd also say it's likely an individual reaction, so results may vary!
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AI did a pretty good job on this one! It's got a very upfront and personal feel to it, with a nice lift in the chorus.
I feel like "Things I'll never be" is a more natural phrase, but probably the opposite meaning to what you want!
It…
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What you have as the chorus makes a wonderful opening verse, but I feel like it should lead to something else in the chorus. More of a why, or what do we do about it?
I would probably switch "It makes one wonder" to "It makes me wonder" but…
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Very generous of you Elvis!
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Wonderful song that one!…
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Not sure I have a process I can articulate Sid, sometimes when I'm reading a lyric I just get a vague half-sense of what the music might be like (or at least one type of music that might fit)
And the clearer I can hear it, the bet…
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Well, if your aim was hardish punk rock, then kudos, cause that's clearly coming through!
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Cool. Then you got exact…
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I record at home. Can't afford to send my songs off to a studio, as there is virtually no chance of making my money back. I can produce a work tape ok, but not something that is a final product.
My setup is very simple. A computer with a DA…
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Wow, full on! I think this is excellent. Tough subject, but powerful words.
Bitterness being wrung out of this person.
In the chorus you might drop "You" on the 2nd line making it "Made me as twisted as you", then b…
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I like "don't go lookin' 'round for more" i think that's strong. I prefer that to "not to go lookin' 'round for more" in the 2nd chorus.
Not sure about "Someone I don't deserve" comes across as mixed emotions to m…
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Relevant? Possibly. But …
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@ChrisPrice Start the thread for the recording process whenever you feel it's ready.
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@ChrisPrice I'm just an analytical person that's all. Not the first time I've noticed that everyone writes song…
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Idea Generation
Sometimes I will start with music, and other times with a lyric.
I keep a collection of notes, phrases, ideas or just titles that I think could turn into something, and come back and visit them periodica…
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Lot's of energy, and a good strong rhythm. Upbeat country is how I hear it.
Love those opening lines, it sets up such a powerful groove:
I’m bar hopping, girl shopping.
Painting this town red.
and I t…
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Very moody and atmospheric. Got a prog rock vibe. I like the intro, though I think it could be just a little shorter and be just as effective.
A bit different. Enjoyed that!
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Has almost a punk feel to it to me.
It's repetitious, almost exclusively Love and Hate lines, but that feels quite deliberate - that's the song.
Quite a tangled ball of emotions, with the odd poignant line like "I hate when you cry"<…
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Sid, I'll get that thread started for the songwriting process over in the General Information category.
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Good strong emotions here, that's important. Good narrative, and I like how v1 gets us straight into the picture and heart of the story.
I like the idea of we pretended we'd meet again versus we actually really said goodbye. That dissonance…
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Good track Elvis! Leaning towards rock with this one.
Enjoyed my listen.
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Version 2 of this song that Sid and I have been working on (and having a blast!)
Bottle of Vintage Wine
Link to music: https://soundcl…
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Quite a catchy chorus! I could sing along to that!
The verses feel a bit all over the place, the prosody is a bit off there.
That shed would be worth a fortune if Banksy painted it!
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This one really grew on me as I was listening to it, both lyrically and musically.
I love the way he returns to Earth, and is just as lonely.
And the pre-chorus and chorus are my fav parts musically.
Really nice!
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Nice! Like the lyric, and the music works well with it.
Room for an instrumental there if you wanted one.
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Ah simpler times! I love it.
That's a great sound. Just lean into it and let go. What's not to like?
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It's worth considering, we do have a Covers section.
On the other hand, I'm collabing now with Sid on Bottle of Vintage Wine because I heard the AI version and thought "that's not how I would do it", and that could happen less if the AI mu…
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Got a real punchy feel to it Carroll. Strong words, hard hitting.
I like the ...rats too!
Got to be heavier music to go with this one!
Good stuff.
Howdy, Stranger!