Comments
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I like this a lot! What imagery. Love the chorus...
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I like that a lot. I like the pauses and holds, and rhythmic bumps, as well...
Especially this verse.
On our way to San Diego, we stopped in Santa Fe, Rita liked the name
She new a couple of words in Spanish, and she used th…
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I love this.
Some are born to it.
Some men beat the odds.
Most men get drunk on it.
Believe they are gods.
Great lyrics again, Carroll. I also like the repetition of the big syringe. That brings the fixation on po…
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Very cool story and provokes great sentiment. Bittersweet. Do you go to open mikes? I think you might have luck finding a songwriting partner that way...With such great lyrics it seems like these could really turn into something cool.
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I'm really hearing a bossa nova beat on this. Wouldn't that be ironic? Nice lyric.
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Thanks RDM, for the comments. I'll try that. That's my actual string bass on that one. Me, myself and I in the studio. One nice thing about playing several instruments......
Thanks, Carroll!
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Thanks, Joseph!
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Thanks, Joseph! I appreciate you giving it a listen.
Sid, thanks for giving it a try. No biggie. Maybe I could get two songs out of it. :)
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Thanks, Again RDM, that's why I'm here. I have a lot of experience writing music without words but this is different. I appreaciate how cool everyone is to be honest and also encouraging.
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I like this Syd! Way to bring in a sense of experience into this. I love the story. Maybe add something at the end about the orderly taking you home and what that was like...my 2 cents
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This one starts strong. And I like how this really sums it up:
Then you ran
Gave up on our plan
I'm sorry
I dont understand
The end could use a little refining. IMHO
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I like suspense in this. I chuckled at
You were halfway through
going through my biscuit tin
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Great song, Chris. It's got grit. Love the production. Gives me a Ronnie Wood vibe. At times the production almost went into a Steve Miller zone
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A great collaboration! Thanks for sharing. I really like the vibe that Owen went with on this. I really like the key change toward the end. This is a great rewrite of the lyric.
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Very cool song lyric. It reminds me of a Townes style drama....misfits, love, passion, bad decisions, and drugs. Too bad you couldn't get T Bone Burnett to produce something!
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Ok cool. This is worth you pursuing if you have like 15-20 min a day to work with it. You don't have to know much theory. Just what chords go together. Like Cmajor goes with Fmajor, Gmajor, Aminor, Dminor, Eminor. Then with a capo you can si…
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I like your voice. I really like the song's various metaphors. Esp. the Plastic castle turning green!
A couple of vocal rhythm things were the only distraction for me.
I really like your style. This was a great way share something …
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I really like how this displaces the subject to the next line each time:
Wait but don't
Stay but won't
Give but take
Love never fake
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Nice work, JT! I like how you really serve up the sensual pleasures in this song. It's got some very cool ideas.
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Yes, another great lyric, Carrol! I can relate to this as a man. Man on the moon is such a great metaphor.
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I love the unrelenting drive of this lyric! It's so forceful and direct.
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Wow, you have a real gift with lyrics. Thanks for sharing!
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This song has solid bones. Definitel a heavy, yet, unfortunately, relevant topic. I would also love to hear some music with it. Nice work!
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I went back at this. The Songwriting: I like the tag at the end. I like the A-B of the Verse Chorus it's a good contrast!
Overall, I find this one super listenable. You have a really cool voice.
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Very cool, moving lyric. I like the chorus esp.
I think in this day and age it's an app story for many...
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Beautiful lyric. I like the bitter sweetness of it... Do you play an instrument? It's very easy to pluck out basic guitar chords on a baritone Uke...
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Thanks Chris! I'm thinking of capoing up to a better key for my voice. I'll repost when complete. I appreciate your comments.
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Thank you Sidshovel! I think so too..I feel like the chorus could still pop a little better. We'll see.
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I like this:
He had, "maybe I am different", written on his face
That went flyin' out the window, when he moved into my place
cool song
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Possible lyric rewrite:
A New Life by Rob Crozier
Love turned my heart today
Fears treading water, at bay
A burning in me seems to say
I feel you
We lost a piece of …
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