Comments
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Suno's done a good job for you there.
Nothing too deep, just something that's an easy listen! And good fun.
I enjoyed it. 😀
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Talk about a strong contrast between music and lyric! Though I will say it matched the warm summers day incongruity in the intro.
Mentioning the Wife in v1 jarred with me, as earlier it starts with I'm sorry we didn't connect. Implies he wa…
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It's a fine drinking song! I can imagine people singing it as they're drinking!
Suno has done a great job from your recording too.
I'll try to remember to toast you and this song next time I have a drink!
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Truth’s too expensive
That’s why the world buys lies
yeah those are good lines.
Not sure about the music Suno delivered for this one, but you can always generate more if you choose to.
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I think this works pretty well. I certainly enjoyed it.
I'll point to a couple of things, but I'm not an expert in devotional songs, so use your own judgement!
"I want you like Heaven above " 'Want' felt odd to me there. A b…
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Internal rhymes are cool. For another song, you might try a little variation: perhaps have 2 on the first line, then the 2nd line end with that same rhyme, but no internal, then 2 each on the 3rd and 4th as you have it. Just a little variation to…
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There's a depth of despair captured here. That quiet opening with the echoed vocals and piano (?) is like a death knell.
Less sure about the techno beat towards the end but the start is heavy as hell.
And "mourning sun" is a great pla…
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Love the chorus!
I’m an outlaw—kinda, sorta, maybe
Wild as a porch swing, mean as gravy
This is a cool one. Put a wry smile on your face!
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Much tighter, in my opinion anyway! I really get that opening scene now and it just sets up the whole song.
Good rewrite!
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I think you've got the mood down really tight for this type of song.
Lyric's clearly written for a modern audience and your own style - good choice.
For me, it's not clear why it's a toxic love, and I feel like it might be stronger if…
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Good groove. Found my toes tapping straight away.
I like your "my love is running backwards" phrase. It's ambiguous enough to be intriguing at the start - what does that mean? Yet it resolves clearly enough and early enough that it doesn't …
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Yeah, I think the "As she turned and started her run" line needs to change. My first thought was "is she skiing"? though clearly she wasn't!
Maybe: As she walked out then started to run? Just a thought.
But the emotional tone and impa…
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Ton of atmosphere. Feels a bit dark and creepy, which seems appropriate!
Like the instrumental drop outs. Is that for the title?
I think you've done well with the showing not telling on this one!
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You know your sound Guy! The hits the sweet spot for Ukulele. It just feels right.
Enjoyed my listen
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Gets you in! Good groove to it.
Lyric's cynical, but not too much to put people off. It feels like it's coming from amongst the congregation rather than being critical of them.
Nice listen.
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Chorus really works! There's some mass market appeal right there!
I obviously had a quiet childhood - nothing like this one! Makes a great story though :)
I saw you were likely to work on the Bridge. I'd keep "No money, no beer, no wo…
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This is so cool! I love it. Funny and a great story too.
Folk song meets punk rock ;)
"We hardly spake on the rough lake" that is just great!!
Wonderful!
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Packs an emotional punch
Like the double meaning of "dummy" there in v1.
I love that I can hear your guitar style in these too.
Good stuff Tom!
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Yeah, this is cool. Got quite the vibe going on.
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My first reaction to this is that it's too wordy. It's just too quick to follow without the lyric in front of you.
I think something more like:
Life's a turn on the Ferris Wheel
We climb in laughing like fools who fee…
Leaving the meaning aside, the rhymes feel a bit repetitive with all the 'ees' in there. And the choice of style feels a bit at odds with the meaning, though exactly what style would suit it is a fair question. It's interesting as always…
This is cool. Love the synth. Good atmosphere, great vibe.
The lyric is straightforward, but it sounds good!
Should be really easy to dance to.
Good stuff.
Cool. Soft rock kind of vibe.
@Tex Gosh, never thought reading emails would make me a dinosaur!! 😁
I love hearing the before and after versions. Thanks for posting that. :)
Bit surprised you didn't call it "Train to nowhere" given that it comes up twice in the chorus. Definitely the hook. I realise it ends up "going somewhere".
It…
It's a cool sound! If you've crafted the prompt to get it that way then kudos!
Love the 'ride the porcupine' phrase. To me it sounds like choosing to be uncomfortable, especially in your thinking. Don't know about the rabbit! Alice in wonde…
Well it certainly works in this style! The opening lyrics feel much more singer-songwriter than rock, but who knows?
it's a good write. Love the guitar work, and that's likely built off your style.
"Emptying into the sea" feels a litt…
A prayer for modern times!
Like that tongue in cheek attitude. 😁
"wishes and dreams" gets used in the final verse, otherwise it's all dreams. If you chose to build upon that title it could be worthwhile having some more lines about wishes, to balance it. Or even try to make "wishes and dreams" a hook in your c…
You're mining a rich seam here. Everyone knows the Titanic, so they understand the bitterness and cynicism of "When My Titanic Comes In". Similarly the deck chairs and band references are going to spark memories. It builds off it nicely.
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