Comments
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Yes, that's coming along nicely. Going to be a treat when it's finished. The music and the lyric are a good match.
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BTW, Barre Chords are your friend. They open up the whole neck to you. A barre chord Bm is just an Am chord moved up 2 frets (that's what the barre does). And if you can move it up 2 frets, then why not 3 or 4 or 10? Suddenly you know a dozen ch…
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Good job Renee, this is very smooth, and the message is really pointed.
I think you improved this quite a bit.
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Ha! Well, try this one out and see if it inspires you. You don't have to follow it verbatim: Em - D - Am7 - C
Am7 is even easier than Am, you can easily look it up on the web.
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I meant that it may not be the final version. You use AI to generate a version, and sometimes that leads on to a different one.
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Renee, I'm going to throw one at you from left field.
The lyric here is about inner conflict, so maybe try to reflect that in the music? Maybe a little slower with more minor chords? Just a thought.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think …
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You choose your words with great care, as always!
Re Police vs Cops, unless the context obviously calls for one or the other, I'm likely going to choose based on how it sounds. In this case, using the AI version may be fraught as …
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Thank you both!
@sidshovel No I did not know that! And yet he is known as a guitarist. It suggests a lim…
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Give it a rockin' beat and I'm sure you'll have people singing along with you!
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Feels very intimate and personal, and that's a wonderful thing to have in a song.
Kudos for sharing some of that inner conflict we all feel from time to time.
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Glad to hear it!
BTW, I moved this across to General Discussion.
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Tugging on the heart strings here Hummer!
Just a thought, but maybe
Until the end
Until the bittersweet end
...
just to let it build a little?
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In any case, the lyric has to stand alone.
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Wonderful evocative story. And you've made us all root for the harmonica man!
Couple of very minor thoughts:
- maybe cops an' drunks come near?
- the old man collects his pot.
But it's fine as is…
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@ChrisPrice Do you strum a banjolele, use a thumbpick, or finger pick it?
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Chris if you truly sound like Barry White, seize the moment!! ;)
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I know of the band, but I've never really listened to them. Thanks for this heads up!
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@OutOfTowner If you're inspired to pick up your uke then I take that as a real compliment.
Maybe test it out on a few more before making any decisions. I could be the odd one out!
Nice!
Feels like there could be a good rhyme in the chorus using believin' and leaving. Maybe:
I tried hard for believin'
Now all there is, is leaving
All there is
is leaving left to do
Like the doubled vocals on this one, and the guitar outro too.
If you wanted to, there's room to explore what happened in their life that made it turn out this way.
Strong pop sound. Good vibe to it.
The lyric is lovely too. Very sensitive and moving.
Hope we get to hear the finished version!
Enjoyed that! Flows very naturally.
So does the dream ending mean that your dog died? That wasn't 100% clear to me.
Good song!
I think you're right about having the bass a touch lower, though it's not bad as is. I like the keyboard , almost a fairground sound.
I would probably have the intro a touch shorter.
With cigarettes for teet…
Thanks for the backstory Sid. Bit like greyfriars bobby by the sound of it.
This is good. Emotionally heavy. I imagine it a bit sadder/heavier than the AI has written the music. And with a pause after each refrain to give it extra weight.
You might reconsider the "need to pee" line. It shows age, but for me Mr Dill…
That's a good fun song, Hummer! Got my name in lyrics at last! ;)
Glad you found your way to Michael Frisbey's page, he's a man worth remembering.
Thanks. I'll try that out.
The cold weather is definitely reminiscent of England, though many places have it of course.
I like the duelling guitars on this track! Very impressive.
Howdy, Stranger!