Comments
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Feels like it could be a hip hop song. Did you have a style in mind, Kayla?
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Your voice is really smooth on this one Elvis!
Up to your usual high standard. Good message, really easy listen.
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Wonderful concept! I'd like to see the metaphor used a bit more in the chorus, but of course it's everywhere else in the song, so you may be doing that explicitly for contrast.
Yes, songwriters will get a little more out of it, but it works…
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"Gypsy tailwind" would be another good name for this one.
Got a classic feel to it, I love all the imagery.
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Renee, here's something to try in the verses just to get you into a different frame, it may not be where you finally end up.
D C
We would’ve liked each other
D …
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Love it! You have another string to your bow.
That chorus is very strong, but v3 is my favorite, so descriptive.
Orders made rashly, brashly, delivering brutality
that's quite a line.
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This one hits close to home, far too real. And applies to several places in the world really.
Love that heard / word internal rhyme!
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I don't really get this one. The prayers to the lord etc don't seem like a good fit to imagery about sharks, rafts and an island of women. But I am happy to be the odd one out!
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Nice! I like it. A different sort of break up song. And the upbeat music is a good match to this lyric.
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There's a lot of power in positive thinking for sure.
Not a bad song for your first original!
I can imagine a chorus for this where you sing out on "start be-lie-ving" and have backup/harmony vocals as well.
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mRNA and mRNA based vaccines are different things.
But "mRNA based vaccines" isn't going to rhyme nearly so well with USDA!
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Saw the title and knew it had to be from you Gavin!
Some lovely lines like: Killing time here while time kills me
And I like the melody too.
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Sounds good!
Don't forget to post the lyric here on TSF please!
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I like how this has all the details of changing guitar strings, making stroganoff etc - makes it feel very real (which of course it is). Then the camera sort of pans out for the chorus. It's a nice combo.
Well done Renee.
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I think you've captured that fighting spirit well in the lyric. Message is nice and clear.
I'm a bit worried about running the lines together in the chorus, making it harder to pick out the words. This is one you want the listener to hear t…
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Of these two versions, I think yours is superior.
The AI vocal just has too many artifacts in it that distract. Give it a year or two and it will probably sound perfect though.
Nice song! I like the unusual progressions in it. Keeps y…
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Nice! Love those bluesy rock riffs, and the changes in guitar style throughout give it nice variation.
The vocal is actually pretty clean in this one.
The title is interesting, as the nightmare doesn't seem to end in the lyric, but it…
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That's a good one. Wonderful lines and message.
The best things in life
Are on the other side of fear
Good production mix too. Nothing to complain about on this one!
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I think you could build more on the "mirage" metaphor in the chorus. Things like "illusions fade" that sort of thing.
In your first verse maybe "I thought I could fly like an eagle" → 'I thought I would fly like an eagle" makes it more futu…
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Is this one about lucid dreaming then? That's what I took from it, anyway.
The music certainly fits that theme, atmospheric and moody and floating just out of reach.
Quite beautiful.
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It reads like the someone who is mentally ill to me. I don't really understand how it reflects the Irish condition.
Feels sad. I like the finger picking. The ending is a little abrupt though.
It's got a much more traditional song stru…
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The narrator seems to have a clear idea that he's doing wrong "I’ve fled from the path of righteousness." so the confused part doesn't hold up for me.
I quite like imagery and story of encountering his mother and father though.
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This one doesn't reach me emotionally. It's well crafted, but I don't really feel for either of these people, I feel a bit remote from them.
The music came out very well, like a song from Les Mis. or something like that.
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Love your guitar work on this track.
Out In the deep woods
Does it set you free
that’s church to me
Lovely words, though there's plenty more …
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In terms of the music, the chorus is definitely catchy. All through really strong rhythms. The half spoken / half sung verses give it a definite vibe. Probably leaning more towards EDM than rap (though for me that's a good thing!) or even just al…
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I think this part of the chorus works especially well:
Why won’tcha
Why don’tcha
Why can’tcha
Valentine's Day isn't a joy to everyone, and I think a lot of people would appreciate this song.
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A searing, portrait of the human experience wrapped in lyrics. In the grand tradition of nihilistic anthems cloaked in the absurd emerges a modern-day classic.
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Very nice indeed. Captured that awkwardness when you can't yet leave, but you don't want to stay.
Chorus is very strong, good story lyric, and I like the rhyming scheme in the verses too.
No faults to find here.
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Tea for the Tillerman (Yusuf / Cat Stevens) was a 9 line song. Very much the exception though.
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I think you've succeeded in making this one more understandable to the average listener. Still a thought provoker.
Some similarities here with re-incarnation too, endless progression.
I interpreted the male outro as being a transforma…
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