Comments
-
Well, what I was referring to was removing the "how" at the start of the 2nd line, rather than changing the end.
If you do want to change the last word, probably have to go for a near rhyme. "Felt" seems like it might have possibilities.
-
Well, I think the lyric is fine as you've written it. Depends on what Suno does with the melody. 5 line patterns are uneven so potentially problematic, but it's pretty good these days.
-
Easier to read them posted here
-
Looking good Tom!
As a thought you might try varying the 2nd Alleluia line just slightly in the chorus:
Alleluia, Alleluia, how you saved me from myself
Alleluia, Alleluia, you saved me from myself
How you saved…
But that's where the best lines should be!
Definitely creepy! Your sins come to haunt your dreams.
Really good stuff there.
A couple of thoughts:
but the cast knows their roles → but the cast all know their role
The illusions are real → The illusions are very real.…
Carroll, would you mind posting the lyrics here on TSF? That's really the important part to comment on, as that's the part you wrote.
That really is a tough subject to write on! You've done it very well, very sensitive.
I can't help feeling this line should be the start of the chorus: "Mom, what's it like in heaven?"
Nicely done. Very sensitive feel to it.
Your vocalist does a fine job on it too.
Good stuff.
It reminds me of my NSAI reviews. I paid for a couple of those early on. It always felt to me reading them that they were always going to say something nice to want you to buy another, and always had to find something to criticize in order to jus…
Well, if you find the answer, please let us know!
Beautifully done! But of course I have to agree with you or look like an idiot! Loved these lines in particular:
I want to know merlott from cabernett
Make new friends like reason and truth
If you st…
I love it. It's both amusing and romantic. And quite a fresh take on it!
This is nice. Some depth to it. I like the Not yet - but soon vibe. Some suggestions:
I think it’s best I leave. → I think it’s best I disappear.
let’s go on walks down by the ocean; → Go on walks down by the ocean;
give ourselv…
That's a tear jerker. Love these lines:
If I begin to think of you,
I know, the tears will start.
I thought this one might bear tweaking: I can't bear to look at it again. → It hurts to look at it again. …
Really? That's a lot cheaper than I thought. I haven't checked it out in years here in Australia, but I remember it being much more expensive even back then. Certainly if you are looking to put together a track to sell, then that's much more prac…
@bhengen Bill, I so now want to hear you moo out a song! I love the image of your dog putting her paw over your m…
Let's keep this vaguely on track. I know Elvis is happy to let the conversation wander, but let's wander back towards the song.
I really liked "We went looking for Australia In between the TV lines"
@ElvisNash Yes, it was v4. Only on the free plan though.
Indeed, Banjo is famous in Australia. Man from snowy river and similar poems
That's interesting. Link works for me. Don't know if there's some issue there about playing it from another country. You can always search for it if it interests you enough.
Really nice lyric Carroll. Very tender. Sets a great mood. Not sure Suno has done it justice here.
When I got to: "You can have my heart, my name", I found myself saying: "You can have my heart, you can have my name"
and maybe that w…
I like the way you are singing: I’m just lookin’, <pause> lookin’ to be free. Gives it emphasis.
And using the pattern of X woke the Y in me in verses 1 and 2 at the same line gives it structure.
Have you tried playing this wi…
Well that would do it, but an expensive route!
Hello and welcome to the forum!
You've definitely got a bluegrass feel to the lyric. Longer lines done at a fast clip should work there.
And I like the inclusion of the instrument breaks. You're clearly thinking about this as music an…
"God Fearing Atheist" is definitely going to get attention! Good hook.
I like how you rhyme trouble and tremble.
You're capturing the dilemma that all of us have to consider.
Good song.
And thanks to all for the sensible a…
@HummerWisdom I knew it was of Greek origin. I didn't know that it meant shining light - that seems ver…
Now that's a different take on Bonnie & Clyde! Who knows what they dreamt of? Could be true, though their life was very different.
I think the music is a little low key on this one. The song is about dreaming, but I found it ea…
"Seventh sister of the Pleiades" definitely sounds like a prog rock title! And now it is.
I hadn't come across "stellular" before. You've obviously specifically chosen that, but "stellar" seems just as appropriate and might lose fewer peopl…
Howdy, Stranger!