Comments
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Not sure I'm even qualified to comment on new country. I can't tell if this would be popular or not.
It does seem to have a sort of twisted ironic humour that's often popular with youth.
The kind of list format of all the "dramatic mo…
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I think overall this reads really smoothly.
The only lines I would point to are:
Two hands are just too few
for what in my plans I have to do
and I don't think those are grammatically wrong, but perha…
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Lovely track to dance to! Great use of synthesizers.
Can't really comment on the lyrics, and would 2nd the ask for you to post those here on the site.
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Yep, that works very well.
I don't think it would fit as smoothly in this song, but "Once upon a barstool" would also be a good line.
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@yeahbuddy I understand that you're following instructions from a publisher (and I'd follow them too if it wa…
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You'll need to post …
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The message is coming through quite clearly in this lyric. It feels like a complete thought.
Highlight is still your guitar playing, particularly in the break.
The normalisation and compression is definitely working for you, it sounds…
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Your thoughts are your own. But the only person's behaviour you can change is yourself. And yes, I saw "pack" instead of "pact", but given your propensity to invent words or use them in novel ways I didn't know if that was deliberate or not.
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I don't think this is helpful. Commentating on the behaviour of other members is not likely to generate a better atmosphere or garner you more comments. Remember that no one is obliged to comment on your songs, only to comment on 2 songs for each…
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Horrific is the right description for the events. And you've captured much of that in the lyric.
Love the irony in these lines:
So much liberation
from a Special Operation
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Not sure about "the easier it is to dodge..."
but the rest reads very smoothly.
Good idea to have the male and female versions to hand.
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That's wonderful. Very sophisticated feel. Your pal Ian has done a great job, and done justice to your lyrics.
And thanks for posting those, it really does help.
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Not a setting I can …
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That's a different take on it to usual! Always two sides to every story.
It was a good idea to specifically include "The Alamo" at the end, just in case someone missed it.
You've labelled this as a diary extract, and it does have that…
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Now that's painting a picture! I feel like I'm there with her.
Good write!
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Oh that's heartbreaker. A wail of emotion.
It's a great song Tom. I knew it was going to be, just reading the lyric. They're all strong lines.
Lovely guitar picking, and I love the dynamic build over the song.
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Nice!
Not sure about mentioning the new guy in the chorus though. Feels like this is about him and her. Maybe:
I won’t forgive you, but I’ll thank you;
I have a wonderful life.
Leaving was the best gift you coul…
Here's a link directly to the song: https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13521914
Love the positive upbeat music. I can imagine this going down really w…
"reached the Winter Years" is a lovely expression. That's going to resonate with many.
Not sure about "veil of fallen tears", the song is more reflective, as Bill said, than sad.
Personally, I wouldn't go with being judged by St Peter…
That came out well. Good lyric too.
Don't forget to mark these as AI generated music please (I've done this one for you). As you know there are people who prefer not to listen to those.
I like this Carroll. Feels very poignant.
And the lift from pre into chorus seems very strong.
I'd be tempted to make what's currently the Intro into v1, and lose the current v1 - I don't think that's as good as the Intro.
It's hard to see how this would happen. Humanity has 1000s of years of experience with music, in many formats, in the context of many cultures without experiencing the kind of phenomena you're alluding to. If it's to happen I think it would requi…
Not sure the combo of social commentary and love story is working here. Certainly when I got to the first pre-chorus the line: "Loving you has given me the courage" felt like it came out of nowhere, quite jarring. Might be better to tell the love…
Link isn't working for me, so I can't comment on the music.
I'm not sure who the audience is for this one (without having listened to the music!). If feels too religious for non-believers, and not enough for those who do.
I think I followed this one. Illness and death, followed by reviewing one's life, standing in front of God, and being reborn.
Good choice of music - haunting, if I may use the pun. That sort of wail @ Lazarus.
Good stuff.
No problem!
I reckon you could append the bridge to the chorus and make it twice as long. As is stands, I don't feel like it quite got its message across, but with the bridge part it feels more complete.
I like the music you've chosen, it's got that la…
I don't think this one quite hits as hard as some of your others.
"Boomerangs and arrows" feels a bit divorced from most people's lives, and it doesn't have a strong mood or emotional tone for me.
It's not a bad song, just not quite a…
No worries!
Isn't that interesting? You just can't tell what's going to jimmy up the works.
Howdy, Stranger!