Comments
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Thank you Owen and the others for your encouraging words! I really thought: ok…that’s it! But this one „flew“ together almost as if there were no barriers in my brain and soul. I liked the feeling. And I just put those lines together without fear an…
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Thank you guys! I really appreciate your fb!
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Well it’s something that helps with the naming of things and bodyparts and so on, that’s always helpful for kids if it’s put in a metric frame. One thing I don’t get… was zum Henker soll das mit den Hosen und dem Loch? Das kapier ich grad nicht 😅
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Hey,
This gives one horror of an image but I like the way it’s told and its honesty!
One thing I find a bit difficult is the verse:
Morphine’s the only god they know
Who can take their pain away.
Absolve me of my… -
Thanks Owen!
Now that I read your comment, I understand what you mean. I’ll think it over. Infact this is the first I’ve written in a year and I was surprised that it all still came out that „well“. But if you are to busy with yourself, own s… -
Hey Owen,
Now this is a real good one! I like the images you used and the tone.
I also like the way you put the words together. There is not a word to much, no bla bla the listener might get lost in, it’s sharp but still emotional (lack… -
Hey there!
The title seemed interesting and so I clicked to check out your work. There is definitely talent in your soul and blood that’s for sure! I think you have a great way of choosing your words. It seems emotional but “grown” and that’s … -
This one is a real emotion flow and I can imagine it being performed on stage, and that’s always a good sign.
Personally I’d think of shorten up a few lines to give it a bit more „heart broken“-aggression. It works very well when you use „com… -
Hey Owen,
I sure do like this one, those words have been Chosen with a lot of care and sensitivity.
One thing I personally thought: you come up with these beautiful rhymes at the beginning, but you change this after the „newborn life“ p… -
Ty Kayla
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Hey,
Thanks Owen! I really enjoyed your feedback, specially because this one is one of my very very early pieces. I’ll have a closer look on your ideas asap.
The line with the „dating“…your right about not really fitting in, but somehow… -
Thank you all!
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Hey Owen, thanx for your feedback.
I had a very clear and fast rhythm in mind when I wrote A‘ preB and B. Fast and like „on a hunt“ broken off by B. I’ll have a look if the rest fits in. Thank you for pointing that out.
Ian -
Tyvm
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Tyvm owen! It was kinda hard to write it while still in hospital, but it was kind of a task „write it down!“ by one of my doctors. I’m happy if it’s not half bad 😅
RK -
Hey Owen,
I do like it a lot. Especially the chorus gives me the feeling that I m secretly following you around and observe. It reaches deep. Well done!
RK -
Tyvm Rene!
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Thank you guys! I guess it was meant to be written. Every morning I wake up and the first thing I see is four beds and the table…trying to feel better, trying to survive.
Tyvm -
Oh wow! I was a bit shocked thought I m on a wrong site… sad that all the older entries are gone but good that we r back online!
Howdy, Stranger!