On that day
based on a true story that happened to me..
Lyrics by me - Music / Vocals -Suno
https://suno.com/song/ae0d38a3-fa04-4562-af33-9ffd1d8c3b4a
Trying to find a balance of telling my story in such a way that it paints a picture without being too abstract. still needs work and not at the level I want.
[Verse 1]
Kneeling in my desolate corner
My achromatic mind melting
Into neurocognitive discord,
Synapses darkening mental senses
From that day, that very day
[Chorus]
Clock hands frozen, time pendent
Steady ringing auditory muting
Mind bending descending madness
Fracturing soul transcending void
[Verse 2]
When can a singular piece of paper,
Deemed empowering, Overwhelming.
When is black ink transformative
Life changing, life terminating
On that day, on that very day
[Chorus]
Clock hands frozen, time pendent
Steady ringing auditory muting
Mind bending descending madness
Fracturing soul transcending void
[Verse 3]
Standing amassed in a white vortex
Melting faces blurring perception
Paralyzed by collapsing singularity
Fleeting choices evading fingers
On that day, on that very day
[Bridge]
Melting faces transforms somber
Sullen heads bowed solemn reverence
Parading white uniforms drained stares
Leaving two souls enclosed darken walls
[Outro]
The chariot arrives into environment surreal
My mind escapes into resolution of reality
My souls transcends abandoning body devoid
The departing chariot vanishing ethereal
On that day, on that very day
Comments
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You went to V4 I see , if this AI gets any better , I'm throwing my guitar in a river
I think this works man , like I said someone intelligent . Sounds cool man
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@ElvisNash - thanks.. intelligence is debatable. I remember fondly what my sister was said to me, - your becoming a wit and are 1/2 way there.. took me 15 mins to realize she just called me a 1/2 wit😂
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Most them old rocks songs were poetic , No I'm saying your smart , With my Army GED , I could never write that lol . it took me 6 months to figure out they're their and there . Work in grammar logic . The Blue book on grammar was a rude awaking lol. Amazon special
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@ElvisNash - there are different types of intelligence. Your intelligence is your ability to relate to people. to take abstract concepts and make them resonate with a broader group of people. mine seems to resonate with bots, go figure 😂
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People love poetry , it fits the vibe , it's taken me years to write a decent song , I'm a slow learner .
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You're both good at what you do in your own rights.
You say the same thing in a different way.
See the world from your own two eyes
Play your music using alternative instruments
Use words from different dictionaries
Sing the same message to the same people with the same feeling.
Sid
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@sidshovel, @ElvisNash - Sid just penned lyrics to the next song 😂 who wants to have a go? 😃
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If you strive to get your life together ( Which is a struggle ) you write better songs , if you're lucky .
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I think this one is much more accessible to others. I'd say you're much closer to finding that balance point.
I still have to work a bit to understand it, but that's no bad thing! Having things to explore and find a 2nd and 3rd time is a good thing. The point is that you can work it out now.
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@RainyDayMan - thanks owen.. black ink could have been said differently, and not sure about chariot..
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I interpreted the chariot as a hearse (rightly or wrongly!). I wasn't sure on the writing. Some form of diagnosis?
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@RainyDayMan - this is about when my wife ran out of options and the only option was to let her go.. the piece of paper, was the paper I had to sign to put her into comfort care. the chariot was actually the gurney and black box they took her away in
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What an impossible moment. Very tough indeed.
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@RainyDayMan - Unfortunately (fortunately?) i have a whole lifetime of topic :).
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You told a heartbreaking story in the way you do best.
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@sidshovel - Thanks sid..
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