The rise of the phoenix

I've revamped the final destination.. I tried to emulate green grass and high tides by the outlaws, at least that's what was in my head as I wrote this...

there are two versions, not sure which I like better..

the female version: https://suno.com/song/4234457d-c507-4faa-8184-7fd99543aa5e

the male version: https://suno.com/song/1cc17259-c733-4daa-9145-832837d5ce07

[Verse 1]

On this dark somber January day,

A sister's bright light fades away,

She spreads her wings and flies high

As church bells ring and angel's cry

And as I gaze upon the night's sky

I think how quickly time flies by

Only yesterday, you were by my side

When four lives abandoned to the tide

Now in sadness, I have to let you go

To be with the others in the angel's glow


[Chorus]

From the fire, your phoenix flies free,

You're now unbound from pain and misery

As you rise into St. Peter's open arms,

The Angels sing the songs of psalms.


[Verse 2]

In the river of time, where memories reside

Are emotions that quickly swell, then subside

And in the freely flowing water, I clearly see,

How diversely our chats, always flowed free

No words can ever express, what you've meant

I'll always cherish these past years spent

When we talked less, as your health declined

The times we did, are forever locked in my mind`

I know your reading this as you stand behind me,

Screaming, there are too many words, I agree

Now, my dear sister, it's time for you to go

To be with the others in the angel's glow


[Bridge]

Embarking on life's final passage

The good lord's been waiting for you

I hope you're able to travel lightly,

Freeing your soul to embrace the new


[Chorus]

From the fire, your phoenix flies free,

You're now unbound from pain and misery

As you rise into St. Peter's open arms,

The Angels sing the songs of psalms.

Comments

  • Both versions are more upbeat than I was expecting just reading the lyric, but they both work.

    You might consider adding another chorus ahead of the Bridge. I think the chorus is strong and deserves another round. The song seems short enough in duration to accommodate that.

    It's a lovely tribute.

  • @RainyDayMan - Hi Owen, thank for the feedback, having it more upbeat is how I'm paying tribute ,she was more of rock/ punk type of person. When I tried your suggestion Suno cut it off 1/2 through the bridge.. so I just added a guitar solo and it works out well.

  • sidshovel
    sidshovel merseyside

    Bill, the lyrics are some of the most beautiful I have ever read. Considering that you chose to share your personal grief so honestly, even more so. It is a dutiful testament to your thoughts and feelings and something, anyone would be proud to have written.

    Thank you for sharing Bill, and God bless you and your family.

    Echo, RDM's comments.

    Sid

  • @sidshovel , thanks for the kind word sid. You have no idea how hard it was for me to not only write it but post it. I'm an extreme introvert. this is new territory for me..

  • sidshovel
    sidshovel merseyside

    All the more for the rest of us to appreciate what you did Bill, you have friends here. A lot who have been where you're at, and stand at your side.

    Sid

  • @sidshovel - Thanks sid, truly appreciate it :)

  • ElvisNash
    ElvisNash Calif
    edited January 2025

    I expected the cliche angle , But it goes somewhere else.... 3:00 is radio time in 2025 . kids have little attention span now. They pop on and off on songs , get bored easy

    Sounds good man

  • @ElvisNash - Thanks elvis, that's what I heard, which is probably why Suno keeps it to 4 mins.

  • Cove
    Cove Alabama, U.S.
    edited January 2025

    My condolences for your sister's passing. Sending a prayer for you. I like this new write much better. Both the female and male versions are great, but I think the male version suits the song better.

  • @Cove = Thanks... I agree about the male version.. much more emotional

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