Stay here til the sun goes down
(right click then open link in new tab,) to open song.
lyrics SS music/vocals Ai
[intro]
[verse 1]
Do as you please, I'll still be here,
I'm not tellin' you, how to live your life,
You're free as a bird, do as you like,
were not married, you're not my wife.
[verse 2]
You agreed to stay, but just as friends,
tho' when you go, it breaks my heart.
If I play my hand, you may turn away,
It hurts too much, when we're apart.
[chorus]
I wont tell you what, you ought to do,
or stop you doin', what you want to.
Nor talk you out, of going to town,
just stay here 'til, the sun goes down.
[verse 3]
It's three a.m., and I hear the door,
Your hair smells, of cheap cologne.
Snuggle tight, but it hurts to know,
you never spent, the night alone.
[chorus]
I wont tell you what, you ought to do,
or stop you doin', what you want to.
Nor talk you out, of going to town,
just stay here 'til, the sun goes down.
[bridge]
Any rules, an' you'll be gone,
you don't need me, like I need you.
When you go, I feel the pain,
waitin' for you, to come home again.
[chorus]
I wont tell you what, you ought to do,
or stop you doin', what you want to.
Nor talk you out, of going to town,
just stay here 'til, the sun goes down.
[outro]
stay here 'til, the sun goes down.
stay here 'til, the sun goes down.
stay here,
stay here,
stay here,
[Fade to End]
additional music and vocals on Soundcloud, Sid Shovel
Comments
-
Quite a dysfunctional relationship! I find it hard to have sympathy for either party. The other person has told the narrator "but just as friends" so remaining in any sort of intimate relationship (snuggle tight) seems self-destructive. And the partner is clearly taking advantage of the narrator. Doesn't mean it isn't realistic though! There's plenty of people who stay on longer than they probably should. It feels a little passive too. Perhaps I would enjoy it more if the narrator was more of: I know it's ending, but not just yet, stay here til the sun goes down - whereas at the moment they seem willing to accept the behaviour unconditionally.
However, those aren't songwriting criticisms, just whether or not the story appeals to me. And it may well appeal to many others!
0 -
Fair comment, the relationship is intentional as I look to extend boundaries beyond the norm to see what opportunities arise from a story perspective. I have a couple of songs in the pipeline that delve into the world of atypical relationships.
This particular song came out of an old Eric Andersen one, "Close the Door Lightly When You Go" which on a breakup looked at what was gained and lost in the relationship.
Your comments are very astute and help me understand how the songs need to be constructed or more importantly, presented, to be more readily accepted and appreciated. One question, would you say in general terms in writing a relationship song, is it better to have an antagonist/protagonist clearly established in order to hang a sympathy hat on from the beginning?
In reality, and in my own experience, relationships are very often "six of one and a half dozen of the other".
One of my own favourite personal relationship songs is "By the Time I get to Phoenix" which seems to encapsulate the "sympathy" question.
0 -
If you're going for a sympathy vibe, then it's probably best to establish clear lines early on. I think it's also possible to go for a: it's no one's fault, but it's all falling apart line; but that's a bit harder. Having both parties at fault is harder still.
0 -
Thanks for getting back, appreciated
Sid
0 -
Cool lyrics! The lines I liked most were:
You're free as a bird, do as you like,
were not married, you're not my wife.
0 -
Let’s hope your site don’t shut down , that’s damn good . Yes billions of dollars and majors with maid service , Did my social security check come in?0
![[Deleted User]](https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/applications/dashboard/design/images/defaulticon.png)
Howdy, Stranger!