In the Twinkling of Your Eyes
© 2024 Owen Hovenden
Link to music: https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14722801
A look, a kiss, no more than this
A nod, a dance, taking a chance
Love came by, in the twinkling of your eyes
A place, a time, your hand in mine
A word, a vow, that led to now
Two souls entwined, in the twinkling of your eyes
The years raining down like autumn leaves
Bathed in the sunshine of your smile
There is no place I would rather be
Than your eyes
A pain, a cry, a newborn life
A girl, a whirl, ready to fly
Love will grow in the twinkling of your eyes
The years crashing down like ocean waves
Washing away the sands of time
I would spend an eternity
In your eyes
A day, a life, it all goes by
You blink and gasp, it's gone so fast
My life went by, in the twinkling of your eyes
My life went by, in the twinkling of your eyes
Comments
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This is lovely Owen. Sensitive words delivered in your own unique style. It's sparse which really suits your song. This doesn't need picking apart in any way. It has a magic to it which I've come to expect with your songs. Very nice.😀
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Thanks Chris! I haven't recorded anything for ages, so it's nice to be bringing anything to the table really.
I always think they're great when I first write them, but sometimes that doesn't last!! So it's nice to get outside opinions, and I value yours!
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Nice work, Owen. It's good to hear new material from you. Good arrangement, lyrics, and acoustic guitar work. I enjoyed listening. 😀
I think the best section is:
The years raining down like autumn leaves Bathed in the sunshine of your smile There is no place I would rather be Than your eyes
Cheers,
Joseph
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Hey Owen,
I sure do like this one, those words have been Chosen with a lot of care and sensitivity.
One thing I personally thought: you come up with these beautiful rhymes at the beginning, but you change this after the „newborn life“ part, why? I mean it’s still good and there need to be a break/something different that keeps the lyrics from getting boring, but I would come up with a few lines in the style of the beginning, bevor you „crash the years“.
Somehow it would make it more round and memorable. Well that’s, of cause, only my point of view 😅
Thank you for sharing it, it is lovely.
Greetings
Ian0 -
@icystorm Thanks Joseph! Appreciate the listen and the comment. Glad you enjoyed it!
The "In your eyes" part is musically my favorite.
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@RainbowKeeper Hi Ian! Thanks for your comments and suggestions.
I'm getting two things from that:
- There's room for another verse before going back to "The years crashing down..."
- You're picking up on the change of rhyming @ "A girl, a whirl"
And both of those are valid comments. I'll have a think about the extra verse. There's certainly room for it, but content-wise it would have to be about them growing old together and I would need to make that interesting enough.
The rhyme change was because I couldn't make that line work in the previous style. It's not ideal as is, but the meaning is right. Obviously it has stood out to you though. Not sure I can rewrite that line to fit, but there's a possibility of replacing it with something else instead. Might have to chew on that for a while.
Thanks again for the thoughtful comments!
Owen
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