When?
Here is a song that was a bit of a milestone for me. It is a song that incorporated the most guitar chords I had ever written into a song. I wrote this a while back, but I believe it to be about 13 chord changes. Also, there was this music professor, on a different site, that was called Lazz. He was an insufferable bore and a Left -leaning guy that disliked me for my politic. I was stunned to hear his comments on the lyric of this song. he was, in his words, "floored" by the whatever it was he liked.
he didn't care for the music. I figured he had his own thoughts as to how the music should go; but, the point is, he loved the lyric.
Tell me what you think.
Well, here it is:
"When?"
by Tom Tognaci
https://soundclick.com/song/12921250
When will I love again?
Have a song again?
In my heart again?
When will I live again?
And dare to breathe it in
Well, Ill know...yes, Ill know
The sound of trumpets when they blow
Ill know...yes, Ill know
When that music rises in my soul
When? To be loved, again
To be whole again
Like I once was then
When...will I fly again?
and dare to trust the winds?
Well, Ill know...yes, Ill know
When the winds of change... begin their blow
Ill know...yes, Ill know
That restless stir lifting my soul
When will I love again?
Have a song again?
In my heart again?
When?
Comments
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I think you should read Marsha's song. It;s true power in words, or my song the green book, two songs about abuse from different angles. this is simplistic. you write simplistically. My poems from the 3rd grade which won in a 6th grade competition, has more impact than this.
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@bhengen Bill, your comment is disrespectful towards another TSF member, and that is not acceptable.
You could quite easily have said "I think your song is far too simplistic" or similar and left it at that. The rest of your post is not commentary it is insult. I won't tolerate it. You are on notice.
@IronKnee Love the guitar work! This is one where less is more. I think you've captured a yearning emotion here.
"The sound of trumpets when they blow" brought heaven to mind for me. But I didn't really grasp how that followed on from "when will I love again" which felt more like the pain of a broken relationship?
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I've decided to be nice and not say what was inspired by such an irresponsible comment. 😎
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You are correct Owen. my comment stooped to a low level and I apologize to you and this forum. I allowed emotion not logic to dictate. I'm sorry to you for that. I meant no disrespect to you at all. you have been more than fair to me, As, I've mentioned to you privately, this is just better if step away for a while. And let Tom be tom, whatever that is. Thanks for everything Owen
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WOW... you are so gracious.
OK... please don't bother me and any of my posts from now on. I would really appreciate that. You are not welcome.
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Hi Owen... it is just a simple song of someone who once fell in love.... fell out of love... and yearns to find love once more.
I'm glad you liked it.
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Yup it went from revelations to some other angle I don't get . If it dosent make sense 13 chords won't help it
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Ok, my 2 cents. I don't see a hook or a chorus or a bridge. Is this truly a poem of lament over a lost love but then there's no resolution? songwriting is story telling, so I guess we need to hear the meat and bones of the story. Otherwise you get, I loved you, then I lost you and when will I get you back......................
If someone told me my song was too simplistic, I would just respond, I'm sorry you feel that way, but thank you for your feedback, what do you think would make it better for the listener?
So then, I would say "tell me the story" otherwise, why does the listener care otherwise we're left here saying.. "well, what the heck happened and what are you gonna do about it, or how did you resolve it?
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😎
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