My Defense
My lyric (still in progress), music by me, demo by Suno Trying out different two line bridges until I get it right.
(there are some things you don't wanna talk about, but they're always there)
https://suno.com/s/j79jXR2626H2PhuJ
I don’t know the reason I sleep with my shirt on
I don’t remember why I don’t have a nightgown
I can’t sleep in my bare skin, exposed and naked
Blankets won’t help and I can’t escape it
That feeling of being dirty for no reason
I need protection from something unseen
I don’t know what happened and I’m glad that I don’t
But everything is not as it seems
chorus
I don’t want to know, what I don’t know
What good would it do me now?
My life would not change and thoughts rearranged
Won’t be a guiding light at the end of a chain of events
I don’t wanna know and that’s my defense.
Something long ago was broken inside and hidden
I’m not ashamed why should I be
Memories get erased so I can still be free
Cus nothing that was………….. was about me
Bridge
I don’t need every missing piece to know I’m alive
There’s a line I won’t cross over,
cus I’m stronger on this side
I don’t want to know, what I don’t know
What good would it do me now?
My life would not change and thoughts rearranged
Won’t be a guiding light at the end of a chain of events
I don’t wanna know .............................and that’s my defense.
(alt bridge)
I know you love me when you reach for me
But I can’t give you all of me
There’s parts others took and
I never got to keep
Comments
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Hi Marsha and welcome to the forum!
That's an intense lyric. The line that really grabbed me was: "I don’t wanna know and that’s my defense". It's a strong hook, and great that it's got your title in it.
I like how you open. It sets the scene, and it makes me feel uneasy - as it should.
"That feeling of being dirty for no reason" is another strong line, and it ratchets it up a notch at the same time. Escalating tension.
I don't like "Won’t be a guiding light at the end of a chain of events", it feels a bit wordy to me, and requires too much mental processing which takes you out of the song. My suggestion would be to try for a simpler line there.
The music is interesting. It's fairly mainstream country in a lyric that is decidedly more edgy and dark. That's entirely your choice. And there is a degree to which you could say it is mimicking the "defense' aspect of the lyric, hiding its true self. But there is certainly an option there for a more moody piece in a minor key if you wanted it.
But overall this is a fine start. I found it intense and compelling.
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I really like these lyrics. especially this line - I don’t want to know, what I don’t know, that's brilliant.
Your prompt is excellent; it really brings out the lyrics. Why not make the 2nd bridge and outro, just a suggestion,
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I sent her here , Do you guys know what this song is about ? if so what it is
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Elvis, this reads as an intensely personal lyric to me. It's a question I'd put to Martha directly via private chat.
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Thats not the point , I sent her here to see if guys knew what it's about . I do know
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I understand what you're saying because that line could have been "a light at the end of the tunnel" but that would be boring and wouldn't work. so I had to change it to chain of events, which I actually like better, if for nothing else but to throw a little something extra in. Not every lyric has to be perfect, sometimes it's the imperfections that make it better. Well, at least that's how I saw it. Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback!!!
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it's about something horrific that happened to her. she was violated.
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You got it , so she proved it
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yes. she did a brilliant job, saying her emotions in words.
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I wish there were more female songwriters around to give me input as well. And yes, it's a true story and I mean every word.
I'm still working on if I've said enough, cus I really don't wanna be graphic because I can't.... .............. cus.. I don't wanna know..................................
What I do know is, I'm not alone.
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I understand perfectly where you are coming from and yes being in a predominately male forum can be difficult to relate on your level as they cannot fathom what you went through.
The tell in this song was this line - That feeling of being dirty for no reason., 8 words was all I need to get the idea.
this is my personal opinion, but I think you should end the song with only these two lines - I know you love me when you reach for me / But I can’t give you all of me
I've never experienced what you have, but I have a period in my life prior to age 7, that something happened, that I don't want to know. it can remain buried for all I care, as it will serve no purpose to go there.
Again, this is my personal opinion, but I think the song is fine as is. it says what you need it to say perfectly. Let the listener form their own opinion.,
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I know you love me when you reach for me / But I can’t give you all of me
Wow............. you know, that was the original line I had!! Pretty impressive.!
I thank you so much for your feedback and yeah, I know it doesn't just happen to girls. That's why I didn't wanna be too specific, well, literally, because I couldn't even if I wanted to.
Some of the best songwriters in the world were/are women. Maybe I should make up a man's name and post songs?? LOL
My fear is, no artist will be brave enough to sing it. (sigh)
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Fiona Apple comes to mind. Or Carol King, or Toria Amos.
I know they are old school, i'm a geriatric, and they are the only ones coming to mind:)
However, they have a way to sing about deeply personal stuff.
Your lyrics are fine, although you might want to drop this line and I’m glad that I don’t.
Rainy correct about the chorus, it needs refining,
Once you clean the chorus up, i don't think you're going to have an issue finding anybody to sing this. it's highly relatable.
This would actually be better as a piano solo, in the prompt try putting in Fiona or Carol, it might protest and change it to their style
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Well it worked I said don't put a description in , and looks like everyone got it . it's subjective on not going the minor chord route
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Thats where the song sits. It’s not a happy major chord, this is a deeply personal reflective song which is fitting for a minor scale0
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Yup
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Dm in the Phrygian mode is very powerful.
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lol
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put that prompt in suno, then read the lyrics. you'll see what I mean :).
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its needs to go minor , its to happy for that topic , Easy fix
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