“You’re Still With Me”

IronKnee · March 15

Here's one of my more devotional songs. Any and all comments welcome. Thanks!

“You’re Still With Me”

By Tom Tognaci

https://soundcloud.com/ironknee-877134982/youre-still-with-me?si=e792ecf3d88b4063a2bd0589ad502fb1&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

I love you with all my love

I want you like Heaven above

I need you like the air I breathe

And I thank you ‘Cause I believe

When I’m thread bare and so tired

When this big world won’t slow down

And the friends that I’ve admired

Just can’t be found

When I’m up against a mountain

Or I’m drowning in that sea

I can take comfort in knowing

You’re still with me

I know you as you have known me

I give you as you have shown me

I trust you…my heart, your hands

I feel you truly understand

When my dreams and my desire

Fold up like a broken wing

What will keep me reaching higher

Is this one thing

I can soar above a mountain

I can rise up on that sea

Just as long as I’m believing

You’re still with me

bhengen · March 15

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/2473/you-re-still-with-me

I feel you're emotion in the song .. couple of things:

Or I’m drowning in that sea - maybe the sea? otherwise, it's which sea?

When my dreams and my desire - maybe - when dreams and desires

The music is spot on, love the guitar. never heard of Catholic Folk rock, that's new :)

MuskieBait44 · March 15

Another great song. very true and reassuring message.

I like this line -When I’m thread bare and so tired -

well done.

IronKnee · March 15

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/19111#Comment_19111

Hi B... thanks for listening and commenting.

"That sea" could be any sea, literally or figuratively, that intends to drown us.

"My dreams and my desires" fit the cadence.... your suggestion is more pity, however.

And I think I just coined a new "Catholic Folk Rock" sub-genre... an off shoot, if you will, from "Christian Rock". 😋

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/19114#Comment_19114

Thanks Muskie... I wrote this many moons ago, when I first started recording my own stuff.

I'm glad you like it. Thanks, again!

RainyDayMan · March 17

I think this works pretty well. I certainly enjoyed it.

I'll point to a couple of things, but I'm not an expert in devotional songs, so use your own judgement!

"I want you like Heaven above " 'Want' felt odd to me there. A bit too self-centric? Reach for you or something like that?

I know you as you have known me. A bit the same reaction here. Claiming to know God seems a bit bold. It feels like you are putting yourself on equal footing.

But as I said I'm no expert! There could be lots of songs with this kind of phrasing that are well loved.

IronKnee · March 17

https://www.thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/19193#Comment_19193

Hi Rainy, while I can understand your concerns, I think you are peering into this lyric too wearisome.

I find it easy to want the Lord or our Mother Mary like Heaven itself. Kind of the same desire, yes?

And I know the Lord and our Mother, fully... As they have known me, fully.

I hope this helps... And thanks again. Not too many people feel compelled to comment on devotionals. They do, however, love to comment on the ridicules writes that mock religion.

ElvisNash · March 17

Man thats pretty , You don't need Suno , This is sweet

“You’re Still With Me”

Comments

Howdy, Stranger!

Categories