Oh to be seventeen
Word me. Music suno
https://suno.com/s/n6goySZpDCBqQqZU
spent waay to much time on this one
this is partly from my point of view, and my friend's. he was the one that got arrested. he had wandered off that night and passed out at somebody else's fire pit. not sure how beach patrol missed him when they shut down the beach, but he called the next morning pissed that we left him behind. we had thought he went home :)
it wasn't to the sky, he kept showin his ass to the neighboring fire pit, which we almost came to blows
miss those days, fun times :)
[Verse 1]
Headin to the beach before the mornin' sun
Surfin' and Hangin' around all day
Partyin' with Mickey's and Jack Daniels
Long after the daylight fades away
[Verse 2]
Crowdin 'round the concrete fire pit
Friend's shorts down, bare ass to the sky
Another laughin' and pissin' in the flame
As the Beach Patrol's rolls' on by
[Chorus][Layered Vocals]
Oh to be runnin free at seventeen
Pizza parlor fights with rival teams
Breakin curfew, midnight romancin'
Oh to be seventeen, (livin the dream)
Livin the dream
Oh to be seventeen, (livin the dream)
[Verse 3]
Wakin up early on the cold sand
With a smiling cop in my face
Says mornin sunshine, ready to go?
Cuffs clickin' as my heart's racin'
[Verse 4]
Early mornin' phone call from the jail
Mom picked me up, she was yellin'
We had a long drive home
Got nothin but a slap on the wrist
[Chorus][Layered Vocals]
Oh to be runnin free at seventeen
Pizza parlor fights with rival teams
Breakin curfew, midnight romancin'
Oh to be seventeen, (livin the dream)
Livin the dream
Oh to be seventeen, (livin the dream)
[Verse 5]
No money, no beer, no worries,
Grab the case, bolt out the door
Tires squealing, clerk's screamin'
Pedals jammed to the floor
[Bridge][Spoken]
Slowin down, playin it chill
The surf's callin our name
[Outro]
Oh to be runnin free at seventeen
Oh to be runnin free at seventeen
Livin the California dream
Comments
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Hay Bill, here in Arkansas it was dirt road dancing and tailgate romancing....
Good one...takes me back..
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Thanks tex. the bridge needs work.
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Good one! I was partying, playing hooky, fishing, shooting, and tailgating in the woods of Alaska with my high school friends.
Great times, not so sure I'd like to start all of that over, again! I kinda like where I'm at right now 😎
Anyways, again... good fun song
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Thanks tom. If I try to go back and recapture that moment, it wouldn't play out like what's in my head 😂.
what do you think of the bridge and outro? I think the song ends abruptly.
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Well, B... I really think the bridge is fine. What are you looking for it to be? it surely works for me. It's a nice little shift in gears.
The Outro is fine, as well. I do like the "Living the California dream" line. Perhaps, use that ending line throughout... Maybe?
I don't hear the outro as finishing abrupt. it's a good fade! IMHO, of course.
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Thanks for the reply, something like a fond memory, or looking back, introspective.
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this is good. i don't think i have heard you do a country song yet. i like the chorus. nice hook.
The outro is good i want it to last just a little longer with a 1/2 repeat and slow fade out. maybe?
sort of like =
[Outro]
Oh to be runnin free at seventeen
Oh to be runnin free at seventeen
Livin the California dream
oh to be free at seventeen.....
Livin the California dream
......runnin free at seventeen
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thanks Muskie, I really appreciate the comment. trying to get out of my box and into more mainstream writing. I see what you mean about extending the outro — that kind of fade‑out can work in a lot of songs. In this one, I wanted the California line to land once and clean, so the emotion hits harder. I think repeating it would soften that moment. But I appreciate the thought — it’s always interesting to hear how someone else hears the ending
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Hee Haw , Good country song Bill , oh to be seventeen again
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Thanks elvis. no doubt. fun times :)
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Well, we do things like that, or at least we have... Now I can't imagine myself showing my ass to any neighbor' fire, or to the sky, or to a passing train, things like that... hahaha, what wild things... but... the truth is, your songs entertain me a lot. They're stories that really happened, many of them... and that makes you their owner... SO, Don't think those were better times, they were different. Now we do other crazy things... that only we know about... and that's great, too... 😎
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Thanks Mora, that means a lot. Those were fun times for sure. There's nothing like a fire pit at night on the beach :). . serene :)
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17 It was Fort Lewis Washington , I lied on my age , 103 pounds soaking wet . 16 and half really
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Different time in history.
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yup brother
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Chorus really works! There's some mass market appeal right there!
I obviously had a quiet childhood - nothing like this one! Makes a great story though :)
I saw you were likely to work on the Bridge. I'd keep "No money, no beer, no worries," that feels like a good fit.
Bit of a change in style here!
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Thanks Owen, that's a valid option I hadn't considered :)
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I hear some Beach Boys in this - would be interesting to try that style in SUNO
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Thanks Jg. I get where you’re coming from, but this one wasn’t meant to be surf at all. I wrote it with a country feel in mind.
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