Stare Lyrics
As they prepared me for the best
They say you love someone
That is making you a mess
You're blessed child
You can hang with who you chose
You don't have to win this
If they keep wanting you to lose
Still I follow my blind heart
They tried so hard to tear
My dreams apart
But still
I hear God say
You're blessed child
You can hang with who you chose
You don't have to win this
If they keep letting you to lose
I've made mistakes
But it's hung like a drape
Over my eyes daily
So I can't see clearly
So who's writing what?
That sounds like a fake version of darts
Aimed at the truth
Still trying to find a way through
Cos I deserve a second chance
Who hasn't made a mess of plans?
But only certain unknown people can make those demands
Why not peace? Why not now?
Why the silence
That is so loud
I always feel the weight of the stares
I know my loved ones and God cares
I dont mind a life, I was taught to share
But this control you say they dont have totally appears
How could you ever say
I'm the one that's unfair
When you gave away all your eyes and ears?
I was taught to share and care
I was not prepared
But I'll see if you ever really care
Or just pretend to and stare
Comments
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@ElvisNash Make sure you contact the lyricist, Kayla in this case, before setting their lyric to music. I don't doubt this was done with good intention, and it may indeed be helpful to her. I hope it is. But remember that this is her song and she has full rights over it. This sort of thing can easily blow up and you would be in the wrong. Ask first.
"I see the shame in their eyes" that is such a powerful opening line.
The song overall is emotional, and vulnerable and has impact.
The structure is there. It's a little loose, but Elvis has demonstrated that can work quite well.
Small typo: "chose" should be "choose". I only mention it because chose (past tense) rhymes with rose, whilst choose (present tense) rhymes with lose which I think is your intention. It will be clearer to a reader if you fix that. If you really meant chose, my apologies.
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just some things i noticed for consideration.
the 2 extra long lines "but only certain...", "but this control..." might cause trouble depending on your melody.
careful on the care /stare rhymes could sound over used depending on melody.
But I think the story is coming across and i can feel the emotion in the words. 👍️
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why bother commenting? she's never appreciative, she just dumps and runs.
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I was doing her a solid and spend some time on it , But in the future I will not help anyone ,
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I don't know Kayla's situation, but in general there are people who need to receive more than they can give in return. I'm happy that I'm in a position to give. But if I give with the expectation of repayment, that's not a gift, that's a transaction.
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She does not reciprocate responses. That does not necessarily mean she's 'never appreciative.' There are other possibilities. One of which is that she's just really shy. If so, it's hard to post in the first place, and hard to respond. I'm not saying that's the case or the reason she "dumps and runs," but I will say that we don't, and cannot know why.
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You and Owen make valid points, I stand corrected
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what ever its there if she wants to listen . No Good deed go unpunished . Though I hate cliches
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Was intended as a "different perspective" not as a "correction." I appreciate your consideration.
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