What Dream Could Be So Sweet?
Unabashed sentimentality on display here, I'm afraid. Not sure what's come over me these days. 🙄
Any suggestions and comments appreciated, as always.
https://on.soundcloud.com/XgmfR
WHAT DREAM COULD BE SO SWEET?
Her head rises and falls
With every breath I take
And the smooth smell of her hair
I’m glad to be awake
Why sleep?
What dream could be so sweet
The patter of rain on the window
Whispering tires in the street
What dream could
Could be so
So sweet?
[Violin break]
The first rays of the sun
Tease my eyelids apart
Warm the skin on my skin
Heart next to my heart
Why sleep?
What dream could be so sweet
Soon with a smile she’ll awaken
For now, I’ll pull up the sheet
What dream could
Could be so
So sweet?
Copyright 2023 Gavin Sinclair
Comments
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Good song man , nice job on it , all tight
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Nothing wrong with some sentimentality! I enjoyed that a lot. The violin was a good choice.
I like this line:
Whispering tires in the street
cause it makes it seem like any ordinary thing has become special in this context.
You might change: I’m glad to be awake -> make me glad I'm awake, though I have a feeling you've already considered that.
It's nice. Good stuff.
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very pretty. really captured the moment well. I agree about the violin. beautiful!
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A lovely poignant song @OnlyGavin. A delicately used violin elevates the emotion tastefully. Your vocal is nicely emotional in a gently repressed way.
" That moment when you lie in bed with the one you love more than anything else in the world and feel that everything is perfect and know, or should know, that nothing will ever be as perfect again."
I dream of having a perfect moment, One day maybe... that said, is it possible to have a perfect moment with a packet of Wotsits? I might have had a few of those. I might have to pretend this song is about wotsits, if that's ok?
CCB
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Thanks for listening, Elvis, and the kind words.
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What a lovely song. Great lyrics and sung with feeling. Nice violin. No crits from me, this is a great track😀
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@OnlyGavin Not your usual wistful comedy approach, but I'm liking your sentimental side exposed here very much ! Especially like the lyric, as I totally relate to those small but significant moments, where you step outside yourself and notice the bigger picture. You've captured it all very well in this recording.
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Thanks Owen. You're right about why that line and the one before it are in there. At a moment like this all the senses are heightened and everything about the moment is special.
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You are in love @OnlyGavin this love song is sooo charing with lines describing so wonderful images! It hs been a very pleasant listening, love songs have to be like this one, sweet and warm.
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Thanks, jrandolph. I appreciate you giving it a listen.
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Thanks CCB. I'm pretty sure that it is possible to have a perfect moment with a packet of Wotsits and a song that made that clear could have commercial potential if the idea were presented correctly to the good folks at Walkers Crisps.
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Thanks @ChrisPrice and @popitup for listening and commenting.
@MoraAmaroLaLoba I'm not unfamiliar with the feeling lol.
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