Summer Creatures
Don't know what it's like where you are but summer around here ain't all ice cream and sunny days...
https://soundcloud.com/user-494998212/summer-creatures-1
That’s right.....uptight
When the weather’s hot and sticky
got ants in my house on raiding parties
School kids on bikes afraid I’m gona hit one
Cool kids on the streets smoking and a drinkin
Tourists from afar all trying to reach us
Get to feel overwhelmed by the summer creatures
that’s right uptight
Jelly fish on the float sharks on the prey
Birds over head dropping fish from the sky
Insects....I feel them crawling on me
Rabbits eat my garden squitos want to bleed me
Went swimming in a lake picked up the leaches
Yes I feel overwhelmed by the summer creatures
ahhuh ahhuh
We gotta do somthin about these flies
ahhuh ahhuh
Bacteria on the bloom
Snakes on the move
They’re bad and ugly
They’re waiting for me
That’s right.....uptight
No one wants to riot in the snow
No one wants to raise a fist out in the cold
The time to burn a town is when long days come around
Big hot mess I think they’re trying to take me down
People acting like this world really needs us
Good god I feel overwhelmed by these summer
Creatures
ahhuhhhh ahhuhhhhh ahh ahh ahh
ahhuhhhh ahhuhhhhh
Sharks in the sea
Ticks in the trees
Stung by the bees
And Every body’s needs
too many tan bodies no room at the beaches
Yes I feel overwhelmed by the summer creatures
Ahh ahh ahh
Comments
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@StoneFlowers - welp, I can write listening to somebody strain their vocals chord trying to sound witty of my morning to-do list. Ticks don't live in trees. kind of a forced rhyme. as most are in this song. not one of your better lyrics. you have a lot of run-on sentences. reads like somebody downed a fifth of JD and wrote a song :)
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Thanks you so much for the kind words my friend...sounds like you're having a fun summer...cheers
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Great vocal and nice guitar playing. This has a really natural sound to it which I love. I've no idea what the other review is about - I don't hear anything JD about this, but I'm loving it. Proper music.😀
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@bhengen Bill, your opinion is welcome. But if you are trying to help StoneFlowers, there are more constructive ways to offer it. If you are not trying to help Stoneflowers then don't post.
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I gave my opinion. his vocals on this to me, were not great. they were strained. I'll choose a better way to phrase it next time. but my opinion stands. Lyrically, it's a mess. ticks, for one, don't live in trees. If all we are going to do is blow smoke, then what's the point? He posted his song for critique. I critiqued it. He has the option to take it or not. He chose not to. that's fine.
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Consistentcy is the key to a good forum and believing what you read. I don't see alot of consistency here
I've stayed clear if critique cause even my slight suggestions are seen negatively.
But every song here can't be good. Every song can't be bad, as in most forums the critiques are based on cliques and familiarity.
When I see a song that is obviously good and one obviously bad all get good reviews something doesn't jive.
I realize many write and post for fun and are not interested in improving, it's just a hobby.
Then I got this one guy rambling on about unrelated things in my songs, I can only assume insecurity, but I'm not getting further involved here
There are a number of dead sites online. This seemed pretty healthy but, rather than fight my way through it. I'll Let you have at it.
I do really respect rdm. But too much lying positively and negatively overall here.
I always thought there should be a forum for people wanting heavy reviews. Never seems to materialize.
Till then, good luck all with your endeavors0 -
To be clear, I'm not advocating hiding faults in songs in order to appear more positive. Nor adopting some false persona.
What I am advocating is balanced, constructive feedback.
By balanced I mean pointing out strengths as well as weaknesses. Not just to encourage the songwriter, though there's nothing wrong in that, but so that the awareness of strengths isn't lost, and is carried forward into the next song. And also on occasion perhaps helping someone understand why a song worked this time if it didn't before.
The Cambridge dictionary defines constructive feedback as: a comment or comments saying in a helpful way what is wrong with something and how it could be improved.
So, yes, pointing out problems (or your opinion as to what are problems) is integral to that. I think helpful, and how it could be improved are equally important aspects. It is not helpful for example to tell me to "sing better". How do I do that? But if you tell me I'm out of my vocal range, or you've heard me sing better on another occasion and it may be worthwhile re-recording the vocal, those are both actionable things that I may choose to do - if I agree with you.
I think it's also worth bearing in mind that your opinion is just that - an opinion. The next review may say exactly the opposite to what you just said! And in every instance, it is the songwriter's choice to agree or disagree, to take action or not. You are not there to impart your wisdom to the universe, you are trying to help them write the song they want.
And my apologies to StoneFlowers for hijacking this thread.
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But I've found, no matter what I might say, delicate, harsh, is going to cause that person to not like you. And tag teamers come in to immediately defend
great is the universal word, and is how you get great comments back.
I guess things could be worse
I'd consider a section on board for serious critique... never attacking of course.0 -
@Domd I've left literally '000s of comments on songs over the years trying to follow the advice above, with very few run ins because of it. On occasion people don't like what I have to say, but seldom do they dislike me personally because of it. But when it does happen, I at least know that I was doing my best to help them, and what follows, follows. Running the site obviously makes a difference and people are less likely to confront me because of that, but I didn't always run this site, and my experience was similar then.
I don't intend creating a separate category for Hard Reviews, but you are welcome to request them when you post your songs. People can then make that choice individually.
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Now back to the song!
That is a lovely cool intro running down the notes! And repeated as a motif throughout.
This is the sort of song I can imagine being enjoyed around a campfire with those creatures all about, and everyone knowing exactly what you mean.
I like how you put Tourists in there as Summer Creatures - nice!
I like the laid back vibe.
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Oh jeez, I should have studied my Entomology, it's fleas in the trees...not ticks, and that rhymes better, sorry bout that. But hey, we're all here just having fun right? No life or death or potential money losing issues, just having fun, right? Thanks for tuning in and all your comments hope you're having a great tick free summer, or winter as the case may be.
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Thanks man but, well, I admit it, he's right about the ticks😉
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Hey thanks Chris good to hear from you.
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Howdy, Stranger!