If It Weren’t For This Fire
Hi Everyone....I have a new song. Let me know what you think. As always, any and all crits are welcome, while first impressions are most welcome.
Thanks, in advance
“If It Weren’t For This Fire”
Words & Music by Thomas Tognaci
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14563994
If hell is cold,
then it’s cold as hell
in the far reaches of space
yet here I am
at this wishing well
just dreaming of your embrace
All my hopes, every last red cent
pray this ole well is heaven sent
Near lost and almost frozen
if it weren’t for this fire, I have with you
All my hopes, down this well, I send
If it’s not to be, it’s to be my end
Long lost in a world iced over
if it weren’t for this fire, I have with you
If hell is dark,
then it’s dark as hell
from the far side of your moon
Just where I am
I can only tell
From your love I've been marooned
Comments
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A really nice song, Tom. Simple, relatable, warm and a catchy melody. The downward shift from line 2 to line 3 of the chorus seems a bit unusual. Along with the slight pause, it felt a little like you had interrupted the chorus and started another verse or a different song. Something sounding unusual the first time can be a good thing, but I listened a couple of times and wasn't sure about it. Really enjoyed the song, though.
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@IronKnee you've got such a unique voice. It has a great weathered quality to it (in only the best way). It fits the music and lyrics nicely
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Very traditional feel and style to this one! Pared right back. The lyric might have been written any time in the last 100 years, because there's no cultural references to tie it down - and I'm sure that's deliberate. Personally I'm imagining an Alaskan goldminer up in the Yukon.
I like the variation in the vocal delivery, some parts faster/slower and different rhythms, keeps it interesting.
I like how you use:
If hell is cold/dark,
then it’s cold/dark as hell
gives it structure.
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Hi @IronKnee
Crikey, what a lovely voice. Would you mind singing me to sleep? Bed time story is a must though - and this time do the voices properly.
I love the way your vocal skips with pace over some words and then holds on others. It gives the song real character and charm. From the softly played guitar to your voice it's a warm cosy song (despite it's poignant words) arranged very tastefully. The guitar is really well recorded - something I fail to do every time. 😁
I thoroughly enjoyed that. Thank you for sharing.
CCB
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Thanks Gavi for stopping by. I'll be giving your suggestion a good going over while I re-write this. Thanks
Thanks Bruce..........I have been actually fighting some congestion in my chest. I'm glad I was able to pull this off 😀
Thanks Rainy.............I rather liked the hell / cold / dark, as well. While working the slopes of Alaska, in the dead of winter, I came to ponder hell as dark and frozen, as well. This one was written while in the doghouse (on the moon) 😎
Thanks, again!
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Thanks, CCB...............I really appreciate your very generous comment.
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What a lovely song. I'm in awe of your acoustic guitar playing here and the vocal and lyrics are perfect. Nothing to add, this is a great track.😀
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Thanks Chris...................it's always great to hear from you. Thanks for the kind words 😎
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You've penned another very good acoustic folk song, Tom. Nice guitar strumming, good vocals, and engaging lyrics. My favorite lines were:
If hell is dark then it’s dark as hell from the far side of your moon
Cool song. I enjoyed listening!
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Hola @IronKnee
I enjoyed your entire song!!! Love how guitar sounds as well as the delivery so natural of the voice. lyrics are poetic
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Hey thanks icystorm.....I'm really glad you liked it. Thanks, again!!
Thanks, M..............you are the best!!!!
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