Taken Away
Hello TSFers! Sorry, a real tearjerker 😥 today. But I've been wanting and trying to write something that made sense for my birth-mother for a VERY long time now. Any feedback is welcome. Interesting Backing Track by Reinhold Tracks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruAZs0ESIgI&list=PLL71z7YZH8Fi6b6q8fM_yhCG1zwtURT53&index=107
===> For a listen https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/taken-away
TAKEN AWAY
V1
The greatest loss I’ve suffered
Is the loss of my mother
It would’ve been easier if she’d passed away
‘Cuz the state took me and my brother
As babies from our mother
And it’s hard finding the right words to say
[Climb]
Mother fought so hard; she fought so hard to keep us
It must’ve shattered her heart into a million pieces
[Chorus]
Taken away
Taken away
There are no words to say
Taken away
Taken away
I can’t get over it to this day
V2
In a thousand-some places
In a thousand-some faces
I searched for someone who remotely looked like me
By the time I found Mother
She was six-feet under
But at least I knew, then and there, she was finally free
[Climb]
Mother fought so hard; she fought so hard to keep us
It must’ve shattered her heart into a million pieces
[Chorus]
Taken away
Taken away
There are no words to say
Taken away
Taken away
I can’t get over it to this day
V3
Now, in Maplewood Cemetery
Next to that lovely willow tree
May you rest in peace, Mother ‘til one day I get there
And when I see you in Paradise
No time will we sacrifice
We’ll have eternity to share and I will forever be:
Taken away, taken away
Taken away, taken away
[Chorus]
Taken away
Taken away
There are no words to say
Taken away
Taken away
I can’t get over it to this day
© 2025 Renee La Chapelle – All Rights Reserved
Comments
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That's a powerful lyric, Renee! You've been able to put a lot of emotion into it.
Tells the story really clearly and how important it is to you. I'm so sorry you didn't get to reconnect with her before she died.
As a suggestion you might consider "As babies from our mother" → "From the hip of our mother". Same meaning just a little stronger imagery.
You've gone for a guitar backing track here, but I wonder if a piano backing might suit it better? Piano can get really sad, and that feels like what this one might need.
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As a mother (who would die for my children), I could imagine the pain of having your children stripped away. Bless her heart that she fought for you and your brother.
An emotional, tearjerker, and heartfelt tribute to your mom. You are continuing her legacy, and I know she is proud!
It's tough to relive your loss; writing music is cathartic for you. Hopefully, you will find your brother soon.
I'm so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing.
Well done and I wouldn't change anything because this is personal.
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@RainyDayMan love your 'hip' line. Not too cliche and yes, I believe it might work better. I chose this track not for the guitar but for the chord progression. I was surprised how sad it sounded with all major chords used but yes, I agree piano would work beautifully.
@TammyB Thank you, Tammy for your heartfelt comment. Many times over the years I've tried to write a song as such. I believe this one's the best thus far. And the hardest part, I didn't know how hard my mother fought to keep us until my early 30's when I sat down with Child & Youth Services, CT. I'm so happy that I took the time to research via birth records, death records; even have my parents' marriage certificate! Met a few distant relatives on my mother's side who were kind enough to send some old photos. Even got one of my grandparents on my mother's side! Feel very blessed to have photos and of course, they are nicely framed and proudly displayed in my home!
Renee 💌
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Oh Renee, I'm so happy you found relatives and they shared memories, photos, and it gave you some closure. You have treasured keepsakes, too.
Wow, bless your mom's heart! Yes, she loved her children and now she's hasn't taken her eye off you/brother since going home.
Again, thank you for sharing your story.
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@HummerWisdom - I cannot image what that must have been like to experience that.
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