The painting
Inspired by watching the pilot episode "the cemetery" of the show the night gallery. rod serling had an amazing mind.
Anybody that remembers Rowen and Martin's Laugh-in will remember them using - fickle fingers of fate
which is where I got that from :)
Lyrics by me; music by Suno.
Work in progress.. the cadence is off in places.
https://suno.com/song/9c789950-2f7b-44e7-9b71-3b00cef7c69a
[Verse 1]
A cold wind howls as an uncle slowly withers
While nephew plots for untold riches gained
A butler in the shadows head down helpless
As the nephew greedily devours what remains
[Verse 2]
A painting of a cemetery in muted grays
Hangs ominously from dark paneled walls
Before the nephews very bewildered eyes
A figure from the grave begins to crawl
[Chorus]
Liquid is the painting on the wall
A shadowy figure morphs from small
Fluidic is the painting on the wall
Fueled by revenge growing very tall
[Verse 3]
In the painting is the figure at the door
Slow relentless tapping, tapping, tapping
The nephew descends into hysterical madness
He feels his mind, snapping, snapping, snapping
[Verse 4]
In anguish he tumbles down the stone stairs
Flailing and contorting the greedy nephew falls
His screams of agony echoes in the great room
And the butler laughter emanates from the hall
[Chorus]
Liquid is the painting on the wall
A shadowy figure morphs from small
Fluidic is the painting on the wall
Fueled by revenge growing very tall
[Verse 5]
As the butler emerges from the shadows
With the nephew gone, his is the estate
The pungent odor of cigar fills the air
And whiskey glass held high to celebrate
[Verse 6]
But the fickle fingers of fate always appears
At the most inappropriate times and places
The butler reality really isn't as it seems
In duality the painting had many faces
[Outro]
In the painting another figure's at the door
Slow relentless tapping, tapping, tapping
The butler descends into hysterical madness
He feels his mind, snapping, snapping, snapping
Comments
-
Poetry Bill , Yes that rolls quiet nicely with Suno and I want be a robot one day
Nice job Bill
0 -
To be honest Bill, most of your work is way over my head, but it does have a driving force behind it. Anything else I'd be talking through my proverbial. Already got too much of that, without me adding more.
"The butler descends into hysterical madness
He feels his mind, snapping, snapping, snapping"
I can relate to that!
Sid
0 -
@ElvisNash - There needs to be an additional level to dante's inferno, perpetual poetry writing :)..
@sidshovel -Thanks for the comment. Not to sound arrogant or narcissistic, but I don't really feel my writing is profound or overly intellectual. when I read the lyrics to king crimson, ELP, and tool. those are profound lyrics. I feel my writing is still at the high school level.
0 -
Did Dante have a first name ? Dan Dante0
-
Dante is his first name.0
-
Ahh was he married ?0
-
Dunno, just know that he wrote an excellent story about the 7 levels of hell0
-
9 levels0
-
Your contributions are eclectic and at times deep Bill. True intellectuals get frustrated not by how much they have learnt, but by how much there is left to learn!
0 -
Yes he was , that explains the 9 levels of hell
0 -
We are all legends in our own minds :)
0 -
ha ha pretty much Bill
0 -
That's a wild ride! Gothic horror show in episodic TV format.
I particularly like how the butler comes into it, as it suggests an endless chain of greedy protagonists meeting their doom.
No idea how to help you with it, but bravo!
0 -
@RainyDayMan - Thanks own, truly appreciate it.. I was thinking of removing untold as it breaks the cadence when sung., at least that's what I'm hearing.
0 -
"Untold" didn't feel too bad to me. It felt more like giving emphasis to "untold"
"And the butler laughter emanates from the hall" felt a bit more of a squeeze. Maybe:
While the butler is laughing from the hall
0 -
I like that it's more concise and keeps the cadence
0 -
@bhengen "You have entered....the Twilight Zone." I've seen 'em all, I believe! Dang, reminds me, I should watch 'em again and again!
Love your lyric, Bill....now for that magical listen....love your gothic!! Acid Trip Deluxe! Not that I would know (tee-hee) (those days are looooong gone!)
Renee 💌
0 -
@HummerWisdom - thanks.
0 -
I remember that episode.
You did it justice. Love it, man...love it!
0
Howdy, Stranger!





