Old friend

StefPo

I wrote this song last year, when I heard of a good friend of mine, that has passed away. So i put my thoughts into this song:

PS: I will upload the music, once I have found a good platform to do this. Any thought or suggestions on this?

"OLD FRIEND"

by Stefan Portune

Old friend, thought I'd hear from you again

last time we spoke was brief and in a rush

now I've heard the news today

that you have passed away

and I'm all out of words for now and then

 

Old friend, last time we spoke by phone

your plans were full of music, rhymes and sound

now your journey took a turn

and I have yet to learn

that all your future plans now have been blown

Refrain

Life is but a vapor, life is precious, life is fragile,

and we must redeem the time that we were given

Life's never what's expected, best laid plans are somehow agile

and we only pass the time whilst we are driven

Old friend, i'd wished we've had the time

To share our thoughts on life and what may lay beyond

I know the pain will grow and stay

and only slowly fade away

as you will leave a void a song can barely rhyme

Refrain 

Old friend, all what's left for me to do

To write this song alas this humble little tune

To tell your tale of life and death

early from birth till your last breath

to tell the others of the story that's been you

to remind the others of the story that's been you

RainyDayMan

That's nice. Its got a sombre, reflective style rather than all out anguish, and I think that's better when trying to expound on someone's life.

I really like those final lines - cuts to the heart of what the song is about and why you are writing it.

"and I have yet to learn" the tense feels out there, as we are told up front in v1 what has happened, so putting this line in the future feels wrong to me. Maybe more like: and I have now just learned, or something like that.

Also this one: "we've had the time" should be "we'd had the time" to be grammatically correct, if that's important to you.

"Life is but a vapor, life is precious, life is fragile" that's a lovely line.

Life is indeed fragile, and we never know when it will be the last time that we see someone close to us. I think your song sums that up well.

StefPo

Thx a lot RainyDayMan, that's exactly the kind of Input I was looking for and i appreciate your thoughts very much.

I've joined soundclick so that I can upload the song and will do so in a minute...

Thank you again.

Stefan