Inside
https://on.soundcloud.com/roBmsKXRbmyoNoxC8
Inside
[verse]
The highway is a long black snake.
crawling down the mountain side.
Weaving its way in lazy curves.
to a dark place in my mind.
[pre chorus]
Where the night has no stars or moon.
Where the sun hasn’t shined in years.
Where I sit crying in the dark.
surrounded by things that I fear.
[chorus]
This prison is of my own making.
There’s no escaping, no breaking free.
I’m lashed by my self -persecution.
by the demon inside- of me.
[verse]
This prison has no bars or walls;
no guards to keep me inside.
and yet here I am, here I am.
In a place the suns, never shined.
[pre chorus]
Where the night has no stars or moon.
Where the sun hasn’t shined in years.
Where I sit crying in the dark.
Surrounded by things that I fear.
[chorus]
This prison is of my own making.
There’s no escaping, no breaking free.
I’m lashed by my self-persecution;
by the demon- inside of me.
[bridge]
I’ve been to therapy
but there’s no saving me.
no there’s no saving me.
No saving me from me.
[verse]
The highway is a long black snake
crawling down the mountain side.
weaving its way in lazy curves
to a dark place in my mind.
[pre chorus]
Where the night has no stars or moon.
Where the sun hasn’t shined in years.
Where I sit crying in the dark; surrounded by things that I fear.
[chorus]
This prison is of my own making.
There’s no escaping, no breaking free.
I’m lashed by my self-persecution.
by the demon- inside of me.
Comments
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This is another one of your dark and deep ones you do very well.
Scares me just reading it. I bet your a fan of Edgar Allan Poe!
I like the way you construct the song and also your use of rhyming schemes,
they are subtle but very clever.
I find I'm getting a bit of a tongue twist on "by my self-persecution.", maybe drop off the "my"?
minor I know!
Sid
0 -
A dark and desperate lyric. I don't think Suno has quite captured the mood of it.
I really like the making/escaping rhyme in the chorus. I'm wondering if there's a way to do that in the second couplet using self-persecution and something else : absolution/resolution/restitution?
"No saving me from me" is a great line.
The repeat of v1 at v3 works perfectly well, but it felt a little like a lost opportunity. Perhaps you could hint at what caused the prison there? (Understanding that many times people won't know why they feel a certain way)
It's a strong lyric. Lots of imagery and atmosphere.
0 -
It's tough to comment on lyrics when you (me) don't understand how they are supposed to be structured etc but I did like this a lot. It is as RDM said, dark. I felt a sense of desperation within them and a hurried sense of urgency as I read through them and also agree that suno doesn't do it justice. I also felt this was done well with a nice personal undertone to it.
In the bridge, I couldn't help wondering if there is another way to say you've been to therapy as it seems a little clunky to me but please don't take that as a real critique as I am too much of a noob to make a proper critique about lyrics.
0
Howdy, Stranger!