Oh, don't you love me ?
A song about my separation and attachment issues, and insecurity with being adopted.
Stuck in my own private - world
always scared to go up to the girls
hiding away not opening my mouth
not meeting the gaze, always looking down South
Pre chorus
Sitting under the tree of life
wondering - if the answers to be nice
Chorus
Oh don't you love me, oh don't you love me ?
battling with the demons, that leave me- blind
Oh don't you love me, oh don't you love me.?
always afraid you're gonna walk outta the door
People pleasing, not wanting to get things wrong
wasted so many years, why'd it take me so long ?
I never realised that the only way to be free
Was to love myself, that holds the key
Pre chorus
Sitting under the tree of life
wondering - if the answers to be nice
Chorus
Oh don't you love me, oh don't you love me ?
battling with the demons, that leave me- blind
Oh don't you love me, oh don't you love me
always afraid you're gonna walk outta the door
Growing up, I let everyone else win
thought to have confidence, was a guilty sin
standing in the shadows, not facing the Sun
being afraid in class, to give answers to sums
Pre chorus
Sitting under the tree of life
wondering - if the answers to be nice
Oh don't you love me ?
I don't love myself
Oh don't you love me ?
I don't love myself
Oh don't you love me ?
I don't love myself
Chorus
Oh don't you love me, oh don't you love me ?
battling with the demons, that leave me- blind
Oh don't you love me, oh don't you love me
always afraid you're gonna walk outta the door
Fades
Chorus
Oh don't you love me, oh don't you love me ?
battling with the demons, that leave me- blind
Oh don't you love me, oh don't you love me
always afraid you're gonna walk outta the door
Comments
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I think that chorus is particularly strong. As a suggestion, you might try "Oh don't you love me, please say you love me" the 2nd time just to add some variation.
In v1 you might consider swapping "not meeting the gaze" to "not meeting your gaze", since the chorus uses "you", and that feels a little more natural to me.
V1 is about insecurity and self oriented, the chorus is clearly directed to a specific person who hasn't been introduced yet at that point. I think some sort of logical bridge is needed to get there, and the pre-chorus seems the perfect spot to do that. So I would look to make some reference to this person, introduce them to the listener ahead of the chorus.
Also, I really like the "battling with demons" line in the chorus. It may be a bit tricky, but if there is a way to use more demon related imagery or metaphors in the verses it might tie things together even tighter.
Worth pursuing!
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Good song Katie.
Agree with RDM comments, they're good ones.
One very minor point, and it is small, is the use of abbreviation.
In the context of what I hear as a slow and melancholic song, using words like
gonna and outta sound out of place.
This was good, enjoyed it.
Sid
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