Ashamed that I’m alive

carroll

Ashamed that i’m alive
verse
I was walking thru a crowd of strangers
alone and feeling afraid.
they were talking and pointing their fingers
and it made me feel ashamed.
chorus
for how I walk, how I talk,how I look.
what people see when they walk by.
It makes me ashamed that I'm alive.
verse
I'm looking at myself in the mirror.
finding flaws that no one sees.
I’m insecure about my appearance.
I am disgusted that I'm me.
pre chorus
for how I walk, how I talk, how I look.
in other people’s eyes.
I feel condemned by my self perception.
ashamed that i’m alive.
verse
My mother was overly critical.
my father would put me down.
i was belittled by other children
bullied out on the playground.
chorus
for how I walk, how I talk, how I look.
in other people’s eyes.
I feel condemned by my self perception.
ashamed that i’m alive.

sidshovel

So relevant for the kids of today. Social media constructs pedestals for these children to jump off!

You capture the angst perfectly, another outstanding piece.

Sid

carroll

Thanks Sid

RainyDayMan

This is good stuff. I've got suggestions, but I don't want to lose the main feedback that this is a strong lyric.

Done in a modern musical style I can imagine this being quite popular.

I'd try paring down the phrasing though, give it a younger skin, eg

I was walking thru a crowd of strangers

alone and feeling afraid.

they were talking and pointing their fingers

and it made me feel ashamed.

This line in the chorus feels like it needs an extra "how I" to me:

for how I walk, how I talk,how I look.

and if you do, you might consider making walk and talk the second and fourth items as you probably won't find anything else that rhymes well with either look or walk/talk.

"disgusted that I'm me" that's a powerful phrase.

"My mother was overly critical". I feel like an example of being critical would be stronger, but it's hard to see what exactly would work there.

"i was belittled" feels a little formal. Maybe "put down"?

Good stuff!

carroll

how about cynical instead of critical?

RainyDayMan

It's not the word itself, it's more the "show don't tell" thing. But I couldn't think of how to fit an example of being overly critical into such a short space. I think "overly critical" is as good or better than "overly cynical" and it may be the best option you have.