Before The Fall - Lyric

HarbingerRoad

Okay, a little different for me.

I thought I would ask for a critique on a lyric before I take it further.

I do sing this acapella, so I know where I think I'm going with it, but maybe someone would be kind enough to give me some thoughts before I do. Thank you.

Before The Fall

(V1)

Do you hear them screaming

Do you hear them crying

Left behind and walked away

Such a fate on a tragic day

Can you see them bleeding

Can you see them dying

How the hell could we say

We tried to help in any way

 (Chorus)

The giants still hold us up

Even while we let us down

Spoiled from great excess

Our fallen broken crown

Pride before a fall

Defeated from within

Such madness in this fate

Together is how we win

 (V2)

Do you feel the stillness

Are you waiting for it to pass

The evil creeps near us

It’s watching us through glass

 

Don’t try to shield your eyes

Don’t try to hide your soul

You have to realize

It’s you that’s in control

 (Bridge)

There was a greatness before the fall

But the walls came tumbling in

So divided one and all

So convinced we couldn’t win

Our fate before our eyes

Just sitting paralyzed

Couldn’t see it’s you and me

Couldn’t find peace and harmony

 (V3)

Brother can you hear me

Please answer my beckoned call

See these things more clearly

We have to stop the fall

Destroyed from within

We have to face the light

Push back on your doubt

You have to do what’s right

  (Chorus)

The giants still hold us up

Even while we let us down

Spoiled from great excess

Our fallen broken crown

Pride before a fall

Defeated from within

Such madness in this fate

Together is how we win

The giants still hold us up

Even while we let us down…

sidshovel

I'm not sure if there is a genre for this type of song, there probably is having just come across one called Russian Reggae, anything's possible. I tend to put my similar outpourings under the umbrella of Societal Commentary.

This kind of song is difficult to write, but I personally think you did a first class job of it.

I hope you continue and put this to music, post it on here when it's done would be welcome.

Thank you

Sid

RainyDayMan

It all reads very smoothly so far.

HarbingerRoad

Thanks guys. I appreciate your comments.