Caged Bird

CAGED BIRD

https://audiomack.com/jgkojak/song/caged-bird


In this whole world

There's only on boy for only one girl

And if I had the time

To sail through the ages

And find one of mine

I would move silently

Through the stars until I found your light

I would shine through the heavens

Until there was no black in sky

There was no longer night


I would fly

Into the boundless light

But I'm here trapped by failed attempts

To escape from the window

I have in my sights


Can a caged bird sing

Can a wallflower dance

Can stale wine inspire wild romance

Can I feel you now

Inside of my head

As I lay here sleeping

Alone in my bed


I can hear you breathe

I can feel the storm

There's not a shiver in the air

But I don't feel warm

I want to cry out and wake from this dream

But breaking chains of our making

Are not what they seem


Can a caged bird sing

Can a wallflower dance

Can stale wine inspire wild romance

Can I feel you now

Inside of my head

As I lay here restless

Alone in my bed


In this whole world

There's only one boy for only one girl

Comments

  • I think the lyric kicks into gear at: "Can a caged bird sing". I like it from that point onwards.

    The music might benefit from a little more variety. A bridge perhaps or solo.

    Overall, I'm not quite sure what you are going for here. The music is reasonably upbeat, but the lyric a little melancholy.

  • I like the lyrics and I also like the arrangement to a point, though it is a bit one dimensional. I agree with RDM, it could do with a bit some more variety. I think this is a strong song in the making which could do with some more work.😀

  • jgkojak2
    jgkojak2 Lawrence, KS

    This is an example of writing around a chorus. I have had the main part (can a caged bird sing) for years and years and I finally decided to try to write around it.

  • haim
    haim World
    edited January 8

    Great recording. I hear some Yamaha keyboard's drums there I think.

    I like the way you sing, I can feel the emotion in your voice. I would add even more volume to the drums and chords. I like the organ playing with the right hand.

    Cheers, Haim.

  • I like this, but I have a bit of a problem with the lyric. A caged bird can certainly sing. People keep songbirds in cages for that very reason. Since the title draws attention to this line, I think it could be important to fix it. Maybe, "Can a caged bird fly?"

  • jgkojak2
    jgkojak2 Lawrence, KS

    interesting point - philosophically, caged birds do sing and are beautiful... but they are not free?

    So introducing the concept after the general discussion of freedom in previous verses, caged birds sing, but its a bit like stale wine...?

  • jgkojak2
    jgkojak2 Lawrence, KS

    And yes indeed that's a Yamaha keyboard... used to have a Casio, but after years decided to go a different direction... not sure I'm all that happy with the Yamaha - I may try to flip it and get something else... recommendations?

  • pete692
    pete692 Las Vegas, NV, USA
    Great tune. It has that throwback feel to that time in the late 80’s/early 90’s when roots rock and post new wave had a moment together. A fine time in my mind
  • I am truly enjoying the song, and love the melody and the lyrics.

    I like the "stale wine inspire romance"

    Very original!!!

    Love this.

    Rene

  • I feel like there is this desperate longing to find one's true love, but then some of the language leads me to believe there already is someone specific he is wanting.

    "Can a caged bird sing

    Can a wallflower dance

    Can stale wine inspire wild romance

    Can I feel you now

    Inside of my head

    As I lay here restless

    Alone in my bed"

    "Can a caged bird sing" - this brings to mind 'I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings' by Maya Angelou. I have used it in lyrics myself although I warned against it. Be aware the connection will be drawn. Does it fit with your lyrics?

    I love L2 and L3 and wonder if you need L1 at all.

    Thye rhyme scheme changes within the chorus and there is no hook line. Having both would make the chorus more memorable.


    Maybe something like:

    Alone in a bed

    Can a wildflower dance

    Can stale wine

    Inspire romance

    I search for you now

    Inside my head

    Can dreams come true

    Alone in a bed


    I like the idea of yearning for a soul mate. Wanting and dreaming of it. It is relatable.

Sign In or Register to comment.

Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!