Just show me, that you care lyrics
verse 1
My world collapsed, in a moment of flashes and bangs
The car crash, took my mother and my siblings when it was done
After the accident, time passed, there was only you and me
You remarried, I went with Auntie Peg, and so, you were gone.
verse 2
I bought the ticket for you, I know where you should be
The hall is packed with families, there's just one empty seat
I put the invite through your door, so I know you know it's on
There's laughter and joy from the crowd, I'm staring at my feet
chorus
Where are you, when I need you
The pain's too much to bear
I miss my dad, the dad I had
Just show me, that you care
verse 3
Everyone's mixing with their kin, waiting for the show to start
I'm standing in the wings, hoping the shadows hide my tears
Most of your time you spend, with her sons at football games
Apart from P.T.A.'s, my music, you make a point of staying clear
chorus
Where are you, when I need you
The pain's too much to bear
I miss my dad, the dad I had
Just show me, that you care
verse 4
The lights are starting to dim, and still I can't see him
The compere's ready for the stage, a last swig from his jar
Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Cyndi Shovel
Rochester's finest, singing, I wonder where you are?
chorus
Where are you, when I need you
The pain's too much to bear
I miss my dad, the dad I had
Just show me, that you care
Comments
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A really sad story. I won't ask the background to this, but it I'm thinking it could make a very moving country ballad. I could be out by a mile saying that, but it's what came to mind as I read. You certainly have a way with words.
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Thanks Chris,
Yes I'm thinking Lucinda Williams or Linda Ronstadt style.
Sid
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"The pain's too much to bear" feels a bit strong for me just for missing a concert. I know that the loss of the rest of her family, and implied daily abandonment is there, but the focal point is the concert.
You might consider using other verses for other events, a series of no-shows leading to something like her wedding where not having her father there (or any close relative) is a once in a lifetime tragedy.
As always, just food for thought!
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Hi Owen
Totally get that, good advice as ever.
Sid
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Very nice Sid. I hope I'm not reading too much into this, but I love that you put this out there and shared it.
Nothing heals like sunlight, and you did a very nice job of putting feeling into this piece. I really appreciate things like "I'm staring at my feet". Simple, succinct thoughts that say so much with few words. But hey, I love to write so I have a great appreciation for those things. Unfortunately, not every listener thinks about the details as much as I wish they would, but you should always do it for you first and then hope someone appreciates it. I do appreciate this. "Everyone mixing with their kin" and then tying that to "Hoping the shadows hide my tears" is a great emotional expression relating to the story. Nicely done.
I wouldn't critique this further until you went through the process of aligning this with an accompaniment. Everyone can have a little different method to the madness, but I know I find myself refining lyrics quite a bit during that process. I would struggle to pick at the little nuances until that happens because things can change a good amount in that process anyway.
Sid I often write lyrics to heal, and if that's what this is I hope it was very satisfying for you. Nice job either way.
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