Just Breathe
I want you to be happy.
You're never happy.
I want to make you smile.
Smile for me?
I know you're going through some things..
Depression and Death
Take a breathe for me?
Breathe in deep.. and hold me close..
You might feel alone... But I'm with you...
I know you want to go walk somewhere and never return..
But I need you to stay around..
Just breathe? For me..
Everything will be ok, we can do this together..
Life is hard.. and life doesn't care about our feelings
But we can ride above the wave...
Just smile.. smile for me..
Show your teeth.. and laugh in glee..
I want you to be happy.
You're never happy.
I want to make you smile.
Smile for me?
I know you're going through some things..
Depression and Death
Take a breath for me?
Breathe in deep.. and hold me close..
You might feel alone... But I'm with you...
All the way.. every step... you can lean on me..
I know you want to go walk somewhere and never return..
But I need you to stay around..
Just breathe? For me..
Just breathe..
Comments
-
"Just breathe for me" is a lovely line. For someone in a dark place just doing that can feel difficult enough. Just keep going. Strong message.
It's got emotion and mood, and those matter.
The structure of the song feels a little loose at the moment - it doesn't naturally fall into verses/chorus/etc, but that can be sorted out when set to music.
The only line I would suggest you look at it
Show your teeth.. and laugh in glee..
For two reasons. "Show your teeth" feels aggressive rather than sympathetic, and also this person isn't going to feel glee for a while. It feels out of sync with the rest of the lyric in that regard.
But overall, I this can come together into something worthwhile.
0 -
thanks for the helpful advice rainyday, and the read. appreciate it.
0 -
is there a way to edit on here? I couldn't find it.
0 -
Unfortunately not for members. You'll need to post a revised lyric in the comments. Or I can edit it on your behalf.
0
Howdy, Stranger!