Cool Seattle Rain

RCJames

https://soundcloud.com/rc-james/cool-seattle-rain?si=8c5dd64d125d4dca88210df785f4e93f&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

 

I walked block after block

in the cool Seattle rain

across the ancient dock

trying to adjust the blame

 

I was moving into the mist

trying to hold myself together

there was no goodbye kiss

no path through the weather

 

I found you in my memory

saying why’s everybody so sad

as you laughed inside your reverie

 

I’m going around in circles

for that road beyond the stars

past a man juggling bibles

a boy who said he’s from Mars

 

I found you in my memory

saying why’s everybody so sad

as you laughed inside your reverie

 

the road past thoughts of you

is closed and all but gone

I know one thing and it’s true

Your voice is sacred in the song

 

I found you inside my memory

saying why’s everybody so sad

as you laughed inside your reverie

 

Walking block after block

In the cool Seattle rain

Domd

"the road past thoughts of you
is closed and all but gone."

Great line, and it's a great lyric overall I admire how you write so laid back and uncontrived.

In this one I think the melody could be better. And guitar is out of tune.

I'd im sure it's a rough demo.

I just think the lyric and the delivery far outshines the melody and guitar in this one .

Keep em coming!

StoneFlowers

Man you've been there haven't you? Nice piece, no doubt written from an experience.

RCJames

https://thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/14924#Comment_14924

I'm not sure what's going on with the tuning - I checked it before recording and it was spot on - maybe the problem's with the tuner.

Domd

Guitars are funny, it can be in tune for one chord and not another, still drives me crazy

OnlyGavin

I like this. It's an appealing lyric and there is a strong melody somewhat obscured by the delivery in places.

The chorus is unusual in the way that it leaves us hanging, expecting a fourth line. I liked the way that the last chorus led into the lines:

Walking block after block

In the cool Seattle rain

I wonder if it might be a good idea to do that each time with the chorus.

MoraAmaroLaLoba

Qué bien!!! This piece has almost a complete melody which enhances the melancholy it exudes, magnificent lyric and good sound.

@RCJames

RCJames

https://thesongwritersforum.com/vanilla/discussion/comment/14938#Comment_14938

Muchos gracias Mora!

Hardtwistmusic

Haven't listened yet, but I LOVE the lyric. I like the content, but it's the utter simplicity of the lyric that gives this a great chance at being an exceptional song. You avoided the temptation to veer off into more complex lines. That's no guarantee it will work great with the music, but it's sure got a great chance. So, now I'm off to listen.

Hardtwistmusic

I left a comment on the music on Soundcloud. It's more useful to you there than here.

RCJames

H - Much appreciated.