"Without a Song in My Heart" -Original

So sorry. I originally posted in General Discussion. Wanted it in "Original Songs For Review". Moderator, please remove it from General Discussions if you would like.

Hello. I'm John. I was a member here since 2009, but have been away for awhile. When I came back I could no longer sign in because I forgot my password. I have a small studio dedicated to music production in my home. I use mostly virtual instruments and sing over them. Here's my newest just finished a week ago. If 5 minutes is to long for you I did a digital edit down to 3 minutes following the original.

Looking to make new friends here. I already know Rene Asologuitar from another forum.


πŸ˜€John B


  • You've written a very good song! I listened to the long version and liked it. I enjoyed the clarity of the production and your arrangement of the instruments. The balance and mix help each instrument to stand out nicely. Good work! πŸ˜€

  • RainyDayMan
    edited February 27

    Welcome back John!

    I really like that jazzy bridge you got in there, that really appeals to me.

    The rest of the song is also well structured and solid.

    I think the vocal layering works very well too.

    The outro/ending was a little long for me, but that's a matter of personal taste.

    Have you considered putting in a small musical phrase between the first chorus and the second verse? At the moment v1 runs straight into the chorus (which I think is fine) but running the chorus straight into v2 feels like a lot without any pause.

    Good song.

    [I also removed the duplicate post]

  • Johnb68
    Johnb68 Reading PA

    Hi, RDM!πŸ˜€

    Do you mean like adding a bar of just music between "You're my whole world" and "Without your love in my life...."?

    Sounds like a valid idea but would take some work moving MIDIs around but I might try it. Thanks. Also thanks for listening and removing the added post.

    πŸ˜€John B

  • Yes, adding an extra bar in there. But of course it's entirely your decision. I just give you ideas to consider.

  • That's a great song and a very nice reduced and clear production. I like it!

  • Top notch song and production!
    Very complex arrangement but everything is mixed perfectly.
    Nice hooks throughout the song. Kept me engaged the whole way through.
    You definitely have a strong grasp of music theory.
    Meaningful lyrics and your vocals are crystal clear.
    Very nice!
  • Johnb68
    Johnb68 Reading PA

    Another one I remember from the original time I was here. Thanks so much, Samiamiamsam. Great to be here with you again.

    πŸ˜€John B

  • Wow..a great intro to a really dynamic song! Nice to hear a song driven by a piano..something I'm not so good at. I love the bass. The vocals are seriously good too!..loads of range. Nothing not to like about this. I thoroughly enjoyed this one. πŸ˜€

  • Johnb68
    Johnb68 Reading PA

    Thanks so much, Chris! Glad you enjoyed it.

    πŸ˜ƒJohn B

  • I like the heavy ominous tone of the piano and then the drum in the introduction, although it did make me kind of expect a more Phil Collinsy song to follow πŸ˜‰. I also enjoyed the combination of a jazzy feel with the insistent drum beat. Nice!

    Not quite so enthusiastic about the lyric. Who is the "who" in "Without a song in my heart you may never know?" Presumably the love interest who is causing the anguish, but I'm not clear on what she will never know. Is it the song in his heart that she will never know? That would seem to make sense, but I'm not sure that's what you meant. Elsewhere, the lyric seems a little unimaginative in places with its reference to stars falling from the sky, sun turning to rain, rain rhyming with pain, facing the storm, etc.

    Having said all that, I did enjoy the song and look forward to hearing more.

  • Johnb68
    Johnb68 Reading PA

    OnlyGavin, thanks so much for listening and the feedback. I admit I'm not the greatest lyricist on the planet, but I try.

    πŸ˜€John B

  • Hi @Johnb68

    Great song. I loved the paired back use of instruments driven by the piano. It gives the strings real impact when they join in. In the upper register of your voice has a really cool Neil Young quality that’s really interesting.The flourish at the end is great and a perfect way to close.
    It’s all mixed beautifully and clean too - a lesson I could do with learning!

    All best

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