Meet the Blue
SUNO: https://suno.com/song/18849546-73ec-4fae-ad59-a935a8432703
ORIGINAL: https://soundcloud.com/sean-swindler/meet-the-blue
MEET THE BLUE
How long may it be
Before the dawn breaks anew
When was the last time
My eyes met your blue
Where did the time go
That stares at me now
What are we waiting for
Behind the wheel and a broken plow
Why must the dawn break
Before I've said my peace
Why must this love await
For the night to cease
Why in the world
Would I think I could have you
When was the last time
My eyes met your blue
I hear the whistle blowing
But I'm not waiting on a train
I see in your eyes you're leaving
Despite the coming rain
We touch for a moment
Before we have to part
I smell in the wind a storm
And clouds about to part
I taste in your kiss
The beginning of the end
I know in my heart it won't
It never did begin
Why in the world
Would I think I could have you
When was the last time
My eyes met your blue
I'll meet you at the station
At the evening hour
I speak to the midnight wind
Rolling past the water tower
I shout to the heavens
With a cry that goes unheard
I'll talk to my preacher man
And I'll try to hear the word
I converse with a stranger
Just to pass the time
I sing to the shuffling feet
Just to make a dime
Why in the world
Would I think I could have you
When was the last time
My eyes met your blue
When was the last time
My eyes met your blue
Comments
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Personally, to me, these lyrics lack emotion. you are telling us how you feel but not showing. Then in one verse it's midnight, then at some point you talk to the preacher is it still midnight? then suddenly you're busking. it seems like you're trying to shove as many metaphors as possible in to get your point across, rather than letting it flow emotionally. There’s a lot of emotion here, but the way it’s written keeps me at a distance. You’re telling us what you feel instead of letting us experience the moment with you. The timeline jumps — midnight, preacher, busking — make it hard to stay grounded in the scene. And the metaphors feel stacked instead of flowing from one emotional center. If you slow down and pick one moment to live inside, the emotion will come through much stronger.
These lines seem contradictory - I smell in the wind a storm / And clouds about to part (you have part twice).
Both melodies work. :);
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I agree with you on the stacked metaphors. I was going for an "Idiot Wind" type thing - there's a lone soldier on the cross, smoke pouring out of boxcar door... which Dylan famously backed off some of the tougher lyrics on much of that album and re-recorded some of the more emotionally raw tracks (Call Letter Blues became Meet Me in the Morning).
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Each verse is about a single topic in his songs. he doesn't mix. the cross / boxcar is a single topic. crucified, burned, betrayed, and in the end he won. Again, this is my take, in Idiot wind. he's pissed off at somebody. who most likely rejected him, and he's venting in this song, Essentially, he's flat out calling somebody an idiot, and they know who they are.
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This is nice. Got me in from the get go.
I felt like you might benefit from a melodic variation at: Behind the wheel and a broken plow
That real country vibe suits this to a tee.
I like your hook too. It's a nice detail that kind of anchors it.
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i like the hook, and the chorus sounds good too.
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