Short Lyric: The Dew on the Morning Rose
THE DEW ON THE MORNING ROSE
When the first rays of the rising sun shine through the morning dew on the rose.
There is a tiny moment when time stands still
and that fragile, fleeting moment that lasts forever quickly goes.
It’s frozen in my memory, then gone to where no one knows.
Impossible to remember, and impossible to forget. It’s where the wind of wonder blows.
And glimpses of it can sometimes appear in my poetry and my prose.
From when the first rays of the rising sun once shone through the dew on that rose.
Comments
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Thanks for posting.
Nice descriptive visuals but I must confess to getting confused in the middle.
and that fragile, fleeting moment that lasts forever quickly goes.
It’s frozen in my memory, then gone to where no one knows.
Impossible to remember, and impossible to forget. It’s where the wind of wonder blows.
There seems to be a lot of contrasts which I don't get.
Good chance it's just me, so wait for more comments to come in.
Thanks again
Sid
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The first four lines read as a verse to me, with the second four feeling more like a chorus. That may or may not be your intent, but that's how I read it.
It feels like a country song, or certainly could fit in that genre.
And I found myself falling into a rhythm reading it.
All of that suggests a really strong structure to the song.
I like the "lasts forever, quickly goes" phrase. Whilst it's there it feels like forever and the memory of it continues, but it's gone in a moment, just a fleeting instant.
And the alliteration on " where the wind of wonder blows"
So I think you have a really strong start. But it's not clear what comes next, what is the song about? Dew on the Morning Rose feels like a metaphor, but for what? Is it life that is over so quickly? Love? Something else? Lay that out and you have your next verse!
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One of the things I was hoping to hear was whether it was already complete enough or "just a start." Please let me know if you think it's "just a start." I was thinking of a "Tea for the Tillerman" (Cat Stevens) kind of 'songlet.'
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Stunning poetry @Hardtwistmusic. Truly enjoy the soft side of a man as much as the tough side.
Nice to meet you,
Renee aka HummerWisdom
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Thank you Renee: Nice to meet you also.
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Response to Rainydayman: YOU ASKED: what is the song about? Dew on the Morning Rose feels like a metaphor, but for what? Is it life that is over so quickly? Love? Something else? Lay that out and you have your next verse!
To begin with, it has no deeper meaning TO ME than just a glimpse of something memorable in a fragile, perishable time and place. Now. . . if it triggers deeper questions and/or answers in YOU (or any listener) it's important to realize that YOUR interpretation is every bit as valid as mine. But again, in my mind as I wrote it, it's just about beauty and the perishable nature of it.
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Well done Sir.
I applaud your willingness to accept others perspectives as an alternative to your own.
need more of that.
Sid
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Yep, I see what you're going for now. Brief, poignant, just a moment in time thing. The dew on the morning rose is the entirety.
Does it work? I think the jury is probably out on that until it's set to music. It's a lovely lyric, just depends whether it has a feeling of completeness when you hear it. I'd certainly say there is a possibility for that.
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It took a long time to learn it, still longer to accept it, but it is, (in my opinion) an absolutely necessary part of creating artistic works to connect with an audience. Respect for that audience is a vital key. Respect for an audience IS respect for their perspectives and 'takes' on the creation's meaning. Success as an artist IS (again in my opinion) 'connecting with an audience.'
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Hi Sid: I hope after reading the other comments, it is a little clearer for you now. It's really just a "not real deep" comment on the fragility and transitory nature of beauty. Thank you for commenting.
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