I Really Wanted To Believe You
Hello, I'm new here. Enjoying the lyrics and songs posted here very much. Taking a deep breath to post one of my latest messes as the world is a mess. I'm a better lyricist (at least I think) than a musician. My skills are limited in that department and I'm surely no singer but I posted this one on SoundCloud yesterday in spite of it all. I record directly into my iphone, zero edits so if you're not into raw music you can skip the recording. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!
Have a lovely songwriting day, Renee :-)
https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/i-really-wanted-to-believe-you
I REALLY WANTED TO BELIEVE YOU
Monday mornin’ drivin’ to my second job
Three red lights in a row my head begins to pound
Homeless man street corner holdin’ up a sign
Reach for a dollar bill not a nickel to be found
Now, you’re off on another gallivant
While the world at large is at war
Hear babes wailing all the way from the mid-East
What do we need a President for?
CHORUS
I really wanted to believe you
Mister President, I really wanted to
Wanted to believe that you actually cared about the little people
But the tall promises you made
Like blue smoke they’ve faded
And I don’t feel nothin’ these dark days but broken down an’ jaded
Now, I’m standin’ in line at the supermarket
Tryin’ to decide what I can do without
‘Cuz a hundred bucks for two bags of groceries
Ain’t what livin’ should be all about
You yack about ‘freedom an’ democracy’
When votin’ doesn’t mean squat
‘Cuz I don’t recall votin’ for higher taxes
Nor did I vote for mandated shots
I really wanted to believe you
Mister President, I really wanted to
Wanted to believe that you actually cared about the little people
But the tall promises you made
Like blue smoke they’ve faded
And I don’t feel nothin’ these dark days but broken down an’ jaded
Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Look around more stack ‘em an’ pack ‘em’s goin’ up
More foreclosure signs than ever before
The Banksters are fatter than they’ve ever been
Other than their WOKEISM whores
And you’ve fallen flat on your face again
And I can’t take the B.S. anymore
Thank God for the modern-day Paul Reveres
What do we need
What do we need
What do we need a President for?
I really wanted to believe you
Mister President, I really wanted to
Wanted to believe that you actually cared about the little people
Oh, but the tall promises you made
Like blue smoke they’ve faded
And I don’t feel nothin’ these dark days but broken down an’ jaded
No, I don’t feel nothin’ these dark days but broken down an’ jaded.
© 2024 Renee La Chapelle – All Rights Reserved
Comments
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Welcome to the forum.
I'm from the other side of the pond yet I can relate to much of this. Believe me, our politicians aren't any better over here.
Nothing wrong with a stripped back recording, especially when it's as well done as this. This was easy to listen to and it got the story over very well.
Well done😀
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Got yourself a humorous folk protest song in the vein of Phil Ochs. I actually think they playing and singing are perfectly suited to the song - raw suits it, while slickness might ruin it.
In my opinion the lyrics were pretty good for the most part, though I feel like there's a couple places where they seem a bit crammed together to fit the melody. And the word "wokeism" is quite a clunker and sounds really dated.
Looking forward to what else you got.
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Thank you so much for your honest feedback, Matt. Yeah, I questioned 'wokeism' myself. I originally had 'politician' which I didn't it feel was strong enough. Lemme go back to the drawing board on that. I find it funny that you felt the song is 'humorous'...but I'll drink to humor any day of the week! Write On, Renee
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Thank you for listening, Chris! Really appreciate it. Have a lovely writing day and yes, I realize you're not better off across the pond if not worst off. May God Almighty show mercy to us all! Renee
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@HummerWisdom - you're right, "humorous" is not at all the right word for such dark subject matter. But there's something in it that I can't put my finger on that's lessening the load. Maybe it's just the jaunty melody that injects just enough subliminal lightheartedness to not make the listener completely depressed by the end (despite the fact that you go out singing "I don’t feel nothin’ these dark days but broken down an’ jaded"!)
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It’s all good, Matt. Perhaps it needs some minor chords which I suck at. I’m pretty much 3 MAJOR chords and the truth. :wink:0
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Welcome to the forum Renee,
Glad to have you here. I enjoyed your song very much. Much in the style of those early Dylan videos where he's standing on a flat-back in a field somewhere bangin' out his mesage. It's raw but it's honest and from the heart.
That purity of expression shines through, delivering the cries of desperation and despair home for those displaced and abandoned.
Strong points well delivered.
Thank you for sharing.
Sid
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Hi Renee! Nice to meet you!
I think your song works a treat. All the little details like the $100 for groceries really ground it.
I expect there's a whole lot of people who are going to nod and feel exactly like you're describing.
I also like these lines:
Oh, but the tall promises you made
Like blue smoke they’ve faded
not only are they descriptive, but they imply "blowing smoke" at the same time.
I think you've gotten your message across very effectively.
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Thanks so much, RainyDayMan! Looking forward to checking your stuff out. Appreciate your sincere feedback. Write on...
Renee
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Glad to be here, Sid and nice to meet you as well. Looking forward to checking your stuff out! It's funny you mentioned Dylan. I used to get that a lot from people after performing a song. But I don't think it was the song so much as my deep-lady voice and it was more gravely back a few years ago as I was a smoker. But at any rate, I take Dylan as a compliment :-)
Renee
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Howdy, Stranger!