United We Stand, Divided We Fall
This is a song I'd posted earlier on that I'd appreciate more feedback on. This is rewrite #4; trying to find that happy-in-between. Also, I wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads and listens to my crap whether or not you comment or provide feedback. Just posting my songs on TSF helps me to try and do my best. Thanks so much!
For a listen to a rough draft ===> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/united-we-stand-divided-we
UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL
[Verse 1]
They can try an’ keep us apart
They can try an’ break our hearts
They can try an’ make us hate ourselves
Hatin’ on one another
Husbands against wives
Friends against friends
Children against parents
The falling-out never ends
[Pre-Chorus]
We can let ‘em pick us off one by one
Or we can show ‘em how God’s will, will be done
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
[Verse 2]
They can try an’ make us feel small
Pin our backs against a wall
They can try an’ make us kill ourselves
Killing off one another
Muslims against Christians
Sister against sister
Blacks against Whites
Brother against brother
[Pre-Chorus]
We can let ‘em pick us off one by one
Or we can show ‘em how God’s will, will be done
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall –
Divided we fall
[Instrumental]
ADDED AFTER RECORDING (afterthoughts taking a shower...)
Nation against nation
Darkness against the light
Nation against God
The Left against the Right...
[Chorus 2x]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we…..
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall –
Divided we fall.
© 2025 Renee La Chapelle – All Rights Reserved
Comments
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When you say x "against" y, you're at least implying if not stating that x is the aggressor and y is the victim of y's aggression. That's not problematic for two sisters or two brothers, but in an x against y situation where x and y are two different races or two different religions, you kind of take the the position that the situation is x's fault. You don't strike me as the kind of person who would think that way or would want people to think that you think that way. Perhaps instead of using "against," use "versus" which is a term that is more mutually applicable to both x and y; X versus Y just says they are at odds with each other without assigning blame. Just a suggestion.
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Nice lyrics Renee, it’s a sentiment that’s been expressed many times in many different ways, but your sincere delivery makes it work.1
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Over all its pretty cool , I'm not sure who They is though . With 9 billion people in the world , I'm not surprised anymore things go sideways all the time , Nice job
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Thank you ALL for your humble opinions: I GIVE UP ON THIS ONE!!!
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@HoboSage thank you for bringing that to my attention. I see what you're saying. In this version (I've rewritten 4x), I suppose it's not clear using just 'against' as you pointed out. While I don't mind 'versus' as you suggested, I don't feel it's strong enough. I wonder if I used 'set-against'. This would show that there's a force behind the division. What say you? Thanks,
Renee
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@ElvisNash I truly thought 'they', everyone would understand who 'they' is. But evidently not. I appreciate you bringing that to my attention. FYI, 'they' is the powers-that-be. I suppose I could open with "The powers-that-be can.....blah, blah, blah..."
And 9-billion of us now? I suppose their depop is NOT working: HalleluYah!
Renee
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@BeatlesFan64 thank you for you nice compliment. Evidently, according to other feedback, I've got more work to do on this but I suppose I'll get there at some point. It's good to know, at the least, that the delivery is good!
Renee
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Based on your feedback, the following. And with an added verse. Does this do it for you? If not, feel free to tell me why. Thank you! New Song Link ===> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/united-we-stand-divided-we
UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL
[Verse 1]
The powers-that-be can try an’ keep us apart
They can try an’ break our hearts
They can try an’ make us hate ourselves
Hatin’ on one another
Husbands set-against wives
Friends set-against friends
Children set-against parents
The falling-out never ends
[Pre-Chorus]
We can let ‘em pick us off one by one
Or, we can show ‘em how God’s will, will be done
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
[Verse 2]
And they can try an’ make us feel small
Pin our backs against a wall
They can try an’ make us kill ourselves
Killing off one another
Muslims set-against Christians
Sisters set-against sisters
Blacks set-against Whites
Brothers set-against brothers
[Pre-Chorus]
We can let ‘em pick us off one by one
Or, we can show ‘em how God’s will, will be done
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall –
Divided we fall
[Instrumental]
[Verse 3]
Who’s boss, we gotta show ‘em somehow
Take the bull by the horns, here and now
Time is running out, good people
We’ve got to rise up together
The Left set-against the Right
Nation set-against nation
Believers set-against God
Can only lead to damnation
[Pre-Chorus]
We can let 'em pick us off one by one
Or, we can show 'em how God's will, will be done
[Chorus 2x]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall –
Divided we fall
Divided we fall
Divided we fall..
© 2025 Renee La Chapelle – All Rights Reserved
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That takes cares of the problem , Now we know who is "They " is . I knew what it meant , but you gotta spell it out
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You're sticking to a laundry list like V1 , that works , but you could take it somewhere else . Maybe its the problem in ourselves besides the power folks , just a thought
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