United We Stand, Divided We Fall
Happy Saturday! My version of Aesop's famous quote. At least that's what came up on Google. Check it out ===> https://www.socratic-method.com/quote-meanings/aesop-united-we-stand-divided-we-fall
Any feedback is appreciated.
For a listen to a stripped down ===> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/united-we-stand-divided-we-fall
UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL
[Verse 1]
Christians against Muslims
Women against men
Blacks against Whites
Friend against friend
Pickin’ us off one by one
Lookin’ to make us small
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
[Verse 2]
Wife against husband
Sister against sister
Child against parent
Brother against brother
Pickin’ us off one by one
Lookin’ to kill us all
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall—
Divided we fall
[Verse 3]
The Left against the Right
Nation against God
Good against evil
A fist for a rod
Pickin’ us off one by one
Lookin’ to kill us all
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
[Bridge]
We gotta tell ‘em to get lost
Tell ‘em to piss off
We gotta tell ‘em to get lost
Show ‘em who’s boss, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
[Chorus/Tag]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall—
Divided we fall
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
Divided we fall
Divided we fall
Divided we fall, ooh-oooh . .
©2024 Renee La Chapelle – All Rights Reserved
Comments
-
Love this!
Like the way you used this to lift to the chorus. "Pickin’ us off one by one
Lookin’ to kill us all" I also like how you used a happy groove in the music to discuss such a sad commentary on humanity.
I appreciate you staying up all night to get this done for us. Keep them coming
1 -
@Barry thanks so much, Barry. I really enjoy your stuff, too. I didn't mean to use a happy tune; it's just that I suck at the music part but I'm happy it works for you! lol 🤣
Renee
1 -
cool song :)
1 -
I think it's working very well.
I'd rather see "Lookin’ to kill us all" at the end of V1 rather than V2, so maybe switch those? And if you can it would be lovely to have a 3rd version rather than returning to "Lookin’ to kill us all" in V3.
Agree with the Barry that you've got a nice lead in musically to the chorus.
Well done.
1 -
@RainyDayMan yep! You caught me as I'd rather see three different climbs. Only so many all sounds. Let me go back to my drawing board and shoot back over to RhymeZone. I need to stay with the all sound due to the Refrain, "fall". It's a MUST! Thanks for the reminder! However, should I come up with a third, I'm thinking I'll save the "kill us all" for V3 due to its' strength as in what's the worst they can do?
Okay. Maybe, "Lookin' to build a wall" V2 ?? I mean I'm all for sovereign and secure borders but not a wall to keep us in and divided. I think the listener might get that. ? And ugh, you mean to tell me I gotta resing it? 😫
Renee
0 -
Excellent song Renee, good example of taking an everyday saying and turning it into a really good song.
Love it,
Sid
1 -
Thanks so much, everyone!
Renee
0 -
If you're looking for words to rhyme with fall, then "make us crawl" might be in the mix.
And yep! you gotta resing it if you make changes :)
1 -
@RainyDayMan Luckily, I'm too wore out to resing as yet. mmm-mm "Lookin' to make us crawl"; no confusion there. I like it! I'll sleep on it. Tho' I like wall because walls divide. But beaten-down, desperate people crawl😍
0 -
Just read the lyric. I tend to read the lyric to form an idea, then go listen and read along. Before I listen to the song, this is really reminiscent (to me) of the great Bette Midler song "From a Distance." Not really similar lyrics, but very similar theme. I think it's a very good lyric. I'll now go listen.
1 -
Okay. . . now I've read and listened. GREAT musical idea. The vocal needs to be a little farther forward in the mix (i.e. louder) so that it's easier for old guys like me to hear and identify. As I was listening, I was singing along, not necessarily with you, but as a backup. Echoing some of what you were doing after your lines and filling in other places. This has tremendous possibilities in my opinion.
1 -
@Hardtwistmusic Thank you for taking the time and not just breezing over it. I agree, it needs to be resung; vocal up higher (I'm old, too) lol! I've also changed a couple of things lyrically and musically. I'll post it on this thread once I re-record it.
Have a great writing day,
Renee
0 -
@RainyDayMan tho' I'm still considering your 'crawl' idea I'm thinking V2, "From behind brick walls" or something to that affect. Still haven't re-recorded it. When I do, I'll post it in this thread.
Thanks so much for caring enough to shoot out some ideas; truly appreciate it,
Renee
0 -
@RainyDayMan & @Hardtwistmusic here's the latest version. Hopefully, it's better. Pretty tired so I played it slower making it too long. Have to work on it some more. I don't think the song warrants 5:00. Anyway, thanks for you input. You don't need to listen to the whole thing as the lyric is posted on SoundCloud along with any tweaks.
Thank you for your help on this,
Renee
https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/united-we-stand-divided-we
0 -
Nice! I like "Lookin’ to kill us all" in v3 as the ultimate of those lifts.
Good on you for working on your songs! It's paying off.
1 -
@RainyDayMan Thank you! Yes. TSF helps push me along. Very grateful!
0 -
@RainyDayMan truly hate to bug you with this one again. I've rewritten it almost in its' entirety. The 1st version, listening back seemed too repetitive lyrically. Wanted your thoughts. No rush, I know there are others waiting. New lyric and new song link ====> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/united-we-stand-divided-we
PS: I realize "drones", line 2, V1 is today's big news but down the road could easily be changed to a more general statement.
Thank you so much, Owen!
UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL
Oooh-ooh-ooh, Oooh-ooh-ooh, Ooh-ooh-ooh
[Verse 1]
It’s no big secret the government lies
Keepin’ drones a secret is no surprise
Left or Right, everybody in the world knows
The Titanic’s sinking, not enough lifeboats
[Verse 2]
We can let ‘em pit us one against the other
Friend against friend, sister against brother
But in the end there’s no winners, no losers
Just the living, the dead and the false accusers
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
Divided we fall
[Verse 3]
Family of four do your best to keep ‘em safe
Work to put meat an’ potatoes on their plates
And honey, if we ever lost each other
I’d find a way to bring you back one way or another
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall, ooh-ooh-ooh…
[Bridge]
They’re pickin’ us off one by one
Lookin’ to make us small
They’re pickin’ us off one by one
Lookin’ to kill us all, united
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
Divided we fall, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
Divided we fall
Divided we fall
Divided we fall
Divided we fall, ooh-ooh-ooh..
©️ 2024 Renee La Chapelle - All Rights Reserved
0 -
Personally, I prefer the prev version. Yes, there is repetition there, but I consider it more of a feature than a problem.
The various lines like 'Christians against Muslims" start with against, but your song makes it clear they should stand united together, so in that way it has a universal appeal and feels inclusive (to me).
The new version still has some of that, but it also has more specific things like drones and government lies, and it feels like I need to agree more with your politics in this version to buy into being united with you.
BUT this isn't my song. As a political statement, it has to have the message you intend, not just one that appeals to the most people. So it needs to be your choice about what the best representation of your message is.
Also, is the repetition going to bug you? You are the person who'll play this the most. If you leave it as it was, are you going to have the niggling feeling every time that you should have changed it? I can't answer that, so again the choice is yours.
1 -
@RainyDayMan fair enough. Thanks for your take, Owen. What prompted me to rewrite it other than the first version being so repetitive, was a customer of mine today. We agreed that the Left and the Right have seemingly united more because everybody knows the government lies no matter which side of the fence you're on. I tried my best not to take 'sides' on this but evidently, I didn't try hard enough. In reality, I don't side with either side more than the other, but the truth.
Anyway, appreciate you taking the time to listen (again),
Renee
0 -
I too felt that the original was more interesting. My advice about bringing the vocals farther front was really just a request to trust your voice and turn your microphone up for the vocal. The drones line is (in my opinion) too fresh and raw to put into a song about uniting. It will eventually turn out to be either 'something' or 'nothing.' Deciding that it's either before adequate evidence is in just leads to fear, and fear leads to division, not unity.
1 -
@Hardtwistmusic thank you for your feedback. At the moment, might have to ditch the song and go back to it later on.
And yes, as you can see, I questioned using drones; could easily replace with a general statement, we’ll see.
So far is vocals upfront I’m recording on an iPhone; truly the best I can do because if I get too bogged down and technical things such as recording, I lose my prolific momentum. Never intended to try to be a musician or a singer but a lyricist.
Truly appreciate your honest opinion,
Renee0 -
Rene, you could change the first line to this
It’s no big secret the government lies
Keepin’ drones a secret is no surprise
From the people, it’s clearly known
Now’s the time for truths to be shown.
This song is like a flash back to the 60's protests songs, like for what it's worth by buffalo springfield.. timeless classic
with a slower tempo, like a ballad, will enhance the lyrics.
Just my thoughts :)
1 -
@bhengen thank you so much for your suggestion. I'm in the process of rewriting the lyric almost in its' entirety (again). I'll post it here before putting the music which should be essentially the same? Don't know, I now have an intro/verse . . .
Truly thankful for your genuine interest,
Renee
0 -
@RainyDayMan @Hardtwistmusic @bhengen Thank you all so much for your feedback. Hate to keep troubling your with the same song. I think the following adds more, but doesn't take away from the first version. And also fixes the 'taking sides' issue; I hope. What say you? https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/united-we-stand-divided-we
Thanks again,
Renee
UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL
[Intro]
We pay our taxes
They make the weapons
Weapons to be used against us
We watch TV
They create propaganda
To take us to war
[Verse 1]
We fight among ourselves
Putting up stone walls
We fight among ourselves
As drunken brawls
Sister against sister
Friend against friend
Brother against brother
Women against men
[Climb 1]
They’re pickin’ us off one by one
Lookin’ to make us small
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
[Verse 2]
We point fingers and blame
The Left side or the Right
We curse God’s holy name
Blame Him for our plight
Christians against Arabs
Blacks against whites
Children against parents
Darkness against light
[Climb 2]
They’re pickin’ us off one by one
Lookin’ to kill us all
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
Divided we . . .
ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh
ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
Divided we fall
Divided we fall
Divided we fall
Divided we fall.
©️ 2024 Renee La Chapelle - All Rights Reserved
0 -
truthfully, I like the previous lyrics, they have more of a 60's protest feel to them. like buffalo springfield, the youngbloods. I also like the usage of the drones, which made your lyrics present.. there is something going in nj, that the government is hiding.. your song highlights that.. listen to get together, by the youngbloods and read the previous lyrics to that melody.. it's almost close.. again, these are my thoughts and I agree with @RainyDayMan , it's ultimately what you feel comfortable with :)
1 -
I think this is a good version, but I prefer the original one!!
1 -
@bhengen you must've showed up late to the party, lol! Rainy Day actually likes version 1 the best and you seemingly like version 2 the best, I guess! Rainy did NOT like the usage of drones . . . nor did HardTwist as it was too new and too hard to tell where the drone hype is going. My guess, it'll probably die down soon and reappear later on in the form of little green men have landed and we all need to UNITE under a One World (for our protection & safety, but of course!). Meanwhile, who knows what 'they're' really up to!
Anywayzu! While I do love to write the current stuff such as drones, I agree with Rainy in that it could be divisive of which doesn't hold a place in a "United" song. Tho' looking at social media, it seems everyone, Left, Right or in between agrees that the government is lying and/or withholding vital information.
Don't know which version will win. But I really like version #3. My problem was that version #1 was too repetitive and I felt something else needed to be said, thus the rewrites. It's ALL my fault, truly!
Have a nice night, Bill, and thanks for your input,
Renee
0 -
it's no different that crafting a painting.. .. you too renee.
0 -
Regarding recording on your I-phone. In other discussions, several of us have discussed free software for recording which allows more flexibility and editting of individual tracks (including turning tracks louder or softer) Free downloads are available for "Audacity" (which I'm currently using - well actually LEARNING to use) and "Cakewalk" which someone else recommended. Hope that helps.
1 -
Still trying to iron this on out. Would love to know your thoughts on the following in comparison to the original above:
UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL
They can try an’ keep us apart
They can try an’ break our hearts
They can try an’ make us hate ourselves
Hatin’ on one another
Muslims against Christians
Brother against brother
Blacks against Whites
Sister against sister
[Pre-Chorus]
We can let ‘em pick us off one by one
Or we can show ‘em how God’s will be done
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
They can try an’ make us feel small
Pin our backs against a wall
They can try an’ make us kill ourselves
Killing off one another
Husbands against wives
Friends against friends
Children against parents
The divide never ends
[Pre-Chorus]
We can let ‘em pick us off one by one
Or we can show ‘em how God’s will be done
[Chorus]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
[Instrumental]
[Chorus 3x]
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall
United we stand
United we stand
United we stand, divided we fall..
© 2025 Renee La Chapelle – All Rights Reserved
0
Howdy, Stranger!