Mr Dillons final walk
https://audius.co/sidshovel/mr-dillons-final-walk (right click, select open link in new tab) for song lyrics SS music/vocals Ai
Here's the other dog song I promised
[intro]
[verse 1]
Every evening the old man, took his dog out for a walk.
Mr Dillon and old Rufus, shuffled by in the fading light.
His neighbours sat on their porches, taking in the air.
Smoking pipes and drinking tea, no one gave a care.
[verse 2]
In the early Autumn breeze, the wind tossed some fallen leaves,
they blew across the driveways and the lawns.
Rufus eyed a squirrel, race up the trunk of a tree,
years ago he'd have gone after it, now, he needed to pee.
[refrain]
Mr Dillon's final walk.
[verse 3]
The old man felt a twinge, then a sharp pain across his chest.
He gave out a moan, fell into a hedge, with Rufus trapped under his legs.
A pizza van was passing, the driver stopped and ran to where he fell.
He checked for any vital signs, if he had a pulse, then it was hard to tell.
[refrain]
Mr Dillon's final walk.
[verse 4]
The ambulace arrived ten minutes later, sirens on and red lights flashin'
First responders checked the body, shook their heads and turned off the lights
They put Mr Dillon in a body bag, and wheeled the guerney into the van
Rufus jumped in behind them but they gently gave him to the policeman
[refrain]
Mr Dillon's final walk.
[verse 5]
Bouquets appeared the following day, on the pavement by the hedge.
Rufus sat at the kerbstone, someone put food and water by his side.
The neighbours gathered round the dog, in whispers they began to talk.
Rufus let out a sigh, lay down his head, and joined Mr Dillon on his final walk.
[outro]
Mr Dillon's final walk.
Comments
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Can you explain the process behind using AI for this song? Was all the music and vocals AI? also were the lyrics written or AI? When it first started I thought it was just heavy auto-tune which I think sounded good but after a minute I thought something sounds really computer generated. Anyways I'm impressed AI can make a song sound this good.
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This is good. Emotionally heavy. I imagine it a bit sadder/heavier than the AI has written the music. And with a pause after each refrain to give it extra weight.
You might reconsider the "need to pee" line. It shows age, but for me Mr Dillon and Rufus are about quiet dignity and I think this detracts from that.
The "body bag" is another interesting one. It clashes with the "quiet dignity" vibe, but here I suspect that is exactly what you are going for, the dehumanizing aspect of it.
In that same verse, you might try having them gently push Rufus away rather than explicitly given to a policeman. Make Rufus seem abandoned without making them appear callous. He's just not their priority.
Ideally you'd have the neighbors discussing how to help with the funeral, Rufus, etc to contrast how they should have been behaving beforehand. I think this is implied, but I'd like to see it put more strongly. I do love the finish however with Rufus ignoring them all to be with Mr Dillon, and it's hard to see how to squeeze more into that verse.
It's a good one Sid.
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Thank you gentlemen,
RDM, excellent points, as always, appreciate the detail and will study your suggestions carefully.
I know you like the back story to a song, so this may interest you.
https://allthatsinteresting.com/hachiko-dog
OutOfTowner, I write the lyrics to all my songs, the music and vocals are supplied by Ai. I try to avoid commenting on the Ai component of my songs for two reasons, out of respect to "real" musicians, and the fact that little or no effort is required on my part to generate the music/vocals. I supply the link solely as an aid to those who find it easier to assess lyrics if they can hear them. If you wish to learn more of the process, here is the link to the app, https://suno.com.
Thanks,
Sid
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Thanks for the backstory Sid. Bit like greyfriars bobby by the sound of it.
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Stunningly heartfelt and sad, Sid. Brilliant story! And actually, as a dog-owner that wouldn't be a bad way to go! I love walking my dog.
Renee
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Howdy, Stranger!