Sadness is lonely's only friend
https://audius.co/sidshovel/sadness-is-lonelys-only-friend (right click then open link in new tab,) to open song. lyrics SS : music/vocals Ai
[verse 1]
Gazin' out the window, hopin' for some rain,
glass of beer in one hand, smoke in the other.
With the light off, I can see, an' not be seen,
It's my little way, of hidin' behind a screen.
[verse 2]
Some drops run down the glass, rain is here,
open it up a crack, so I can hear the sound.
It seems to feed my melancholy and pain,
Sad to think, my only pal's, the rain.
[chorus]
Sadness is lonely's only friend.
They go together, hand in hand.
Leave behind only a trace,
like footprints in the sand.
[verse 3]
Neon distorted by oil on the road,
reflectin' off the pools on the ground.
Nothin, but feel sorry for myself, all alone,
wonderin' why, this loneliness has grown.
[chorus]
Sadness is lonely's only friend.
They go together, hand in hand.
Leave behind only a trace,
like footprints in the sand.
[verse 4]
The clock clicks three, an' there's only me,
Beer's gone flat, an' the ashtray's full.
A metaphor, of my wasted life it seems,
empty shell, of a person, an' his dreams.
[chorus]
Sadness is lonely's only friend.
They go together, hand in hand.
Leave behind only a trace,
like footprints in the sand.
[bridge]
No one will bother with me as I am,
finishin' a beer, sittin' on the can.
Gotta lift myself, clear of this mess,
start with a shave, get smartly dressed.
[final chorus]
Sadness is lonely's only friend.
They go together, hand in hand.
Leave behind only a trace,
like footprints in the sand.
[outro]
It's the crack of dawn, rainy morn',
decided on makin' a change.
Still by window, feet on the sill,
a beer, wearing a suit and some Brut.
Comments
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A real mood song, but got that spark of hope at the end.
I suspect there's far too many people feeling like this right now, only without the hope.
"Sadness is lonely's only friend" is a lovely line and title. I like this line too:
"Sad to think, my only pal's, the rain"
I like the contrast in rhyming scheme between the verses and chorus.
Nicely written!
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I like the contrast in rhyming scheme between the verses and chorus.
I'm toying with the concept of the first two lines of the verse being descriptive and setting the scene/mood and not rhyming. The last two lines rhyme and focus on feelings. I find leaving the rhyme till last gives an added emphasis as opposed to say an "abab" scheme which I find has a tendency to dilute the impact.
RDM, any thoughts?
Sid
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I don't think there is a problem in using ABAB, but I do take your point that the contrast between 2 non-rhyming lines followed by 2 rhyming ones emphasizes that difference, lending weight to the latter. And certainly the lack of rhyme in the first two lines isn't an issue for me. It might be a matter of what works best in an individual lyric. I do like the idea of starting a verse with a visual or descriptive element providing a sense of place before moving on to other elements such as emotion and mood. I don't think this is essential in every case, but it's a strong starting point. You're unlikely to go too far wrong with this as a working practice. For myself, I'm always looking for that key phrase or catchy line and building outwards from there.
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Thank you, good points to bear in mind. I'm looking for ways to break the mold but retain the natural progression of the storyline. I don't think it would work in a refrain type song as the refrain itself serves the same purpose. Good fodder for the brain.
For myself, I'm always looking for that key phrase or catchy line and building outwards from there.
That's exactly my strategy, I collect interesting phrases, lines, idioms, etc. and progressively work through them, writing a song for each. I never bypass any since that would set a precedent I want to avoid.
Here's an interesting quotation from an American painter, Chuck Close:
"Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work."
He goes on to say, opportunities and ideas arise from this process as he paints, the same can be said for songs, I find.
Thank you.
Sid
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"Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work." - Oh I like that! Not sure I follow the advice, but I like it!
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Sid, you're not depressed for some reason are you? This one is making me wish it would rain. Such a deep evocation of a person in trouble...don't get me wrong it's brilliantly written...just, just, well how and why did this one come to you? Somebody once told me that if my songs could create emotion in the listener, then I've achieved something very special. And that wisdom certainly applies here.
Now come on...write something joyous to even things out!
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Can't beat the title - I think it's brilliant. A song like this (almost country) needs good lyrics, and this has some nice, descriptive ones, such as "neon distorted by oil in the road," which paints a picture for me. Only negative thing is possibly that it is long-ish, at over 6 minutes, though not overly so.
Best,
Tom
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There's some interesting correlations in process between what you described Sid, and what the person in this video is advocating on songwriting technique:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SH8q7TkIy9E
Basically zooming in on descriptive elements first, then emotions, then on other thoughts/ideas. Thought you might be interested.
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Thanks RDM,
That is exactly what I'm talking about, great video with an easy to follow explanation.
Good song examples that illustrate the principle well.
Well worth a viewing for all songwriters reading this.
Really appreciate you spending your time to dig this out for me.
That's why you get the big bucks!
Thanks for that,
Sid
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Hi @sidshovel, this is a really beautiful song. The music is lovely, the chorus is great, and the title, as mentioned by everybody so far, is iconic.
I do feel like the song is too long currently though, with some of the verses focusing on and repeating a bit too much of just the physical description without connecting back to the emotions those images are meant to convey.
I think the video that @RainyDayMan linked is great, as well as his description of its concepts as "zooming in on descriptive elements first, then emotions, then on other thoughts/ideas." I like the idea of each verse conjuring up it's own individual image of the singer's day, but I think each of those images needs to more quickly relate back to a memory or feeling that then ties into the overall theme of the song.
Conceptually the song is very similar to "I Wish It Would Rain" by The Temptations, though that song is less than 3 minutes long, while at 6.5 minutes, your sing is closer in length to songs like "Piano Man" or "Mr Tambourine Man" (the Dylan version).
I think if you see what you can trim down without really removing any of the deeper meaning of the song, you'll find what remains to be much more emotional. I would really suggest looking at the lyrics of "I Wish It Would Rain" and studying how concise they are, while also being very powerful.
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Thank you all for some really constructive comments and suggestions. I do value these very much and spend time analysing them to see how I can improve.
The recent influx of 'newbies' to the forum has brought in an amazing level of talent both in music and lyric composition. I thank you for choosing this forum to 'air your wares' and share those skills and knowledge with relative newcomers to the art, such as myself.
Passing on that experience and insight to help others is very much appreciated.
Thank you
Sid
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Sid, I really love your song. One of those songs I wish I'd written. Takes me right there and believe me I know lonely as I live alone with my hound-dog, Lucy Rose. But a dog's not a person.... and I agree with RainyDayMan; a lot of people are feeling lonely these days and especially since the lock-downs. The world's just not the same. And I especially love your outro; a nice way to show 'all dressed up, no place to go' or more accurately all dressed up, don't feel like goin' any place. Depression hurts. But it can be a songwriter's best friend.
Question. I'd never heard of 'Audius'. I notice it's free to sign up but is it truly free for unlimited uploads? Thanks.
Write on,
Renee
"A metaphor, of my wasted life it seems,
empty shell, of a person, an' his dreams." Yep, that's me and so many others!
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Renee,
I've uploaded nearly 400 of my songs with no problems, I can't answer to unlimited, but 400 is not bad.
Sid
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Howdy, Stranger!