The Bard - Comments Requested
As many of you know I am a recent member and new to the songwriting arena. I am trying my best to absorb all the information, suggestions and anything I can get my hands on to become a lyricist. Earlier this week I posted The Bards Tale, a first draft of this song. I got some great feedback and set to revising it.
Once I felt it was polished, I set into the ai for generate something. After many trials I found a sound that worked, semi-clear vocals and enough places where I could try to stitch an entire song together (properly?) in Audacity which I am also new to.
This being my first real composition, I am asking for your comments on the lyrics, the arrangement and seamlessness of the stitching. There were a total of five different sections I had to clip and align.
While I can't call this music I made, I can call it a lyrical assembly of AI's audible generation.
It was my first shot at something like this and I'm happy with how it turned out.
The Bard
Listen here: https://youtu.be/cLPWFY0fmog
I pen my heartbreaks and my mistakes
To convey emotions most can't relate
I write of sweet sorrows and stories unfold
At what cost to me, for these tales I mold-
My tears weight and a pound of flesh
Into despair and my life's regrets
Burnt on loves smold-rin' embers
My glass soul now revealed,
(I SURRENDER)
(I SURRENDER)
Found the words I need, deep inside
Wild tapestry, where threads align
So with quill in hand, I write and thrive
My poet's soul, keeps me ALIVE
(ALIVE!)
In my mind the words begin to phase
Ink like blood flows on the page
like the tales of age told long ago
Notes flow from truths untold
My song grew on crescendos rise
Before it slides hushed into sighs
Rising again for its' REPRISE!
(I SURRENDER)
I release my dreams into the night
And they're barely seen in the pale moonlight
As my words flash to betray the dark
My song alights from just a SPARK
(SPARK)
As the final lines reach their end
Leavin' me hangin' in suspense
Did my song align to your ear and soul
or does 'The Bard' still have more to show?
Comments
-
I'm sure what you mean. The music is AI generated and you just came up with the lyrics? The lyrics are good. The music sounds darn good, too. But a lot like a lot of rock releases over the past few years. Very glossy, lush but without not soul, like rock had in the 60. 70's and 80's.
0 -
yeah, AI takes my lyrics and outputs it to whatever I specify generally.
I tried a lot of other genres and when it wasn't fast tempo the vocals sounded worse than these do.
I think the distortion of the music helps the vocals pass marginally for vocals.
AI is far from worth more than an fun way to make some noise. Lol0 -
My problem is my music is all original but the vocals aren't what I would want. The music could be more polished, too. Is it possible for me to put my song into AI and have it make it sound better or different? If so what are the websites to do this?
0 -
I really like this. Had to look up what a Bard was...ancient Celtic order of minstrel poets. That's a great concept to write about. And your lyrics are alive with imagery..."like blood flows on the page"...really great stuff. Also the outro fits the song perfectly, a great suspense ending...does The Bard' still have more to show? I suspect he does in a follow up sequel, maybe something really weird like Sucubous meets The Bard. As for the AI generated music, I think it fits the story to a proverbial T. Nicely done.
0 -
You say you're a newbie? hahahha well when you have more experience you'll reach the moon while others try something... Very good everything, how good!!! I really like the change after the rage, that part gives a great breath to the song and prepares our ears for what comes next. I can't criticize anything here, man, I really liked it!!!
I don't know how to work with the Ai, everyone who uses it says it's easy, that's what they say, but I would need to read a lot of things to know how to work with it and my eyes say no.
Olé. @prysmatyk
0 -
I don’t know why I was expecting a song about Shakespeare jamming out, but now I do hope to hear that song someday :p.
As for this one, yeah man, it’s solid for your first attempt. Composition wise, everything feels right. The verses have a nice rhythm to them. AI, from what I’ve heard, seems to struggle with making syncopation sound natural, but it got the idea across well enough here. Chorus is appropriately loud and a cathartic release, followed by a quieter bridge. Nothing to complain about there.
Lyrically, very powerful and visceral words, really leaning on the ancient / medieval vibe, which the AI does a solid job of interpreting. Like Mora said, if that’s really one of your first, then I can’t wait to hear how your songs progress the more you post them.0 -
You've come a long way from that snotty nosed poet on the doorstep, left behind that, "I'm a poet, I know it, hope I don't blow it", syndrome.
You worked hard, listened, learnt and applied it. The end result is testament to determination and application.
Many trials and many errors but you got there in the end.
For any newbies reading this and wondering whether they can write a song, follow the whole thread from start to now and see how the members of this site rise and help anyone who's willing to learn.
kudos, prysmatyk
Sid
0 -
Sorry for the days of silence. Was ambushed by family and had little time for anything else.
Thanks to everyone who commented on my first assembly of a song and finalizing the lyrics to a hastily constructed piece a little over a week ago.
@robwills Yes, it is that easy. If you want some guidance, I'll help as best as I can but I'd prefer to see you develop your vocal and musical skills rather than lean on AI and lose the possibility of growth you possess.
@StoneFlowers As writers aren't we all Bards? I tried to convey the method of creation and its cost to the creator while keeping a vulnerable voice. Thank you for the compliments. I do ten to use more esoteric metaphors than modern ones which I am trying to balance out but it is hard when I think in those terms. (read too many fantasy books)
@MoraAmaroLaLoba Thank you for your kind words and compliments. I am a poet, not a lyricist and I have much to learn and miles to go before I even see myself being a lyricist or songwriter which is why I need feedback. Actually, using ai is easy and needs very little to make a song, but I recommend to anyone with musical ability not to use it. Hone your skills instead of letting ai remove the creative process which could inhibit your growth as a musician.
I use ai only to vocalize and generate music, the two things I am incapable of without risking incarceration for inciting a public nuisance. lol
@BeatlesFan64 I wanted something more bard like but ai just couldn't manage it so I was sort of forced into the heavy rock style. Not exactly as I envisioned it but it did save me in the rearrangement of the verses in audacity as the vocals and notes seemed to lessen the joined sections mistakes.
I am grateful to hear that my arrangement of the verses, choruses etc are solid as I really have no clue as to the correct way to do this. Some sites say begin with a chorus other say verse chorus is mandatory, others say be free and follow what you feel. (note ai handles the rises/falls/tempo changes etc...so that is not my doing but was something I hoped for in the writing)
@sidshovel Not really that far from it. I'm still snot nosed and wet behind my ears. Isn't that the songs theme? A poet, know it, don't blow it.
Thanks to everyone again for all the positive encouragement, support and guidance!
0 -
Ooh that came out well! Nice to hear it set to music 😁
0 -
Yep! Very good! I like the rock vibe u put it into!0
-
@RainyDayMan @RainbowKeeperThanks. I revised it some more since making it. Is anything ever truly finished?
0 -
Only as finished as you want it to be!
0
Howdy, Stranger!