🅰️No room for dreams anymore
https://audius.co/sidshovel/no-room-for-dreams-anymore (right click then open link in new tab,) to open song. lyrics SS music/vocals Ai
This is a POV of the victims of the Rochdale Grooming Gangs. For those who are not familiar:
Groups of men groomed adolescent girls and passed them round between them.
[intro]
[verse 1]
I dreamt of Unicorns and Princes,
in lazy days of innocence.
On the journey to an adult,
left behind all that pretence.
[verse 2]
Naivety lost, like the peel of an orange,
bare an' exposed, ripe for the pickin'.
Streetwise an outcome not a choice,
a matter of time, the clock was tickin'.
[chorus]
No room for dreams anymore,
they were taken away from me.
Only nightmares at my door,
Unicorns, I no longer see.
[verse 3]
Sweet words, attention I didn't get,
a cell phone, I was never allowed.
Thanked me when I did good,
said I made him proud.
[chorus]
No room for dreams anymore,
they were taken away from me.
Only nightmares at my door,
Unicorns, I no longer see.
[verse 4]
I'd do anythin', not long before I did,
gave me a pill, for helpin' his friend.
Then, never thought that much of it,
it was, the beginnin' of the end.
[chorus]
No room for dreams anymore,
they were taken away from me.
Only nightmares at my door,
Unicorns, I no longer see.
[bridge]
So many friends, I began to feel ill,
gifts stopped, I did it for the pill.
One day, the police took me away,
told me to be careful what I say.
[chorus]
No room for dreams anymore,
they were taken away from me.
Only nightmares at my door,
Unicorns, I no longer see.
[outro]
Nurses made me better, made me strong,
said I was groomed, by bad men all along.
In court, I saw them through my tears,
Their fears, as the judge said twenty years.
Comments
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A beautiful song to describe such a story... A difficult theme but wonderfully developed with a sober and enveloping arrangement, nothing else is needed, and the voice, choppy, pulling the thread of the loss of her innocence. I liked it a lot, there are some great lines, this one for example
Naivety lost, like the peel of an orange, @sidshovel
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Thank you for those kind words and insight into what the song is trying to achieve.
The impact on the victims is often overlooked by the popular media as they chase the role of the criminal and the police.
There is often an equally good subject for a song lying just under the surface of the headlines.
My thanks again for your comments.
Sid
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This is excellent. I'll make some suggestions, but I'm not sure it needs any.
Naivety lost, like the peel of an orange,
bare an' exposed, ripe for the pickin'.
Wow! Those lines blew me away. I think "innocence lost" might be even stronger, but you've used it immediately above where it's needed for the rhyme, and there aren't many alternatives that I can think of.
Maybe "they were taken away from me" "..stolen away from me"?
And in the chorus you could potentially end on "No unicorns." and forego the rhyme, or rather substitute it with rhyming with door. Maybe give it a more abrupt feeling there.
In the Outro "bad men" feels a little weak, but I'm not sure what the alternate should be.
AI's got the feel right on this one.
Excellent work.
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I would like to toss in a possibility for one of RDM's suggestion if I may. Try the word Cover lost, like the peel of an orange as it seems to reinforce the next line.
RDM your hearing eye is astute!
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RDM
"stolen away from me", yes that's good and it improves the line, I'll use that.
in the chorus you could potentially end on "No unicorns.", not so much that, but agree with more abrupt ending for emphasis, I'm thinking, "The Unicorns have gone." Foregoing the rhyme seems to reenforce the abruptness, a technique I will remember!
"In the Outro "bad men" feels a little weak," Beeeeep, wrong!, love it when I get one over on you!
Have you ever heard an adult talk about bad things to a child, they sugarcoat the words, even more so, nurses!
Foregoing the rhyme for emphasis is gold dust, thank you.
Prysmatyk:
"Naivety lost, like the peel of an orange,
bare an' exposed, ripe for the pickin'."
It is the loss of her naivity that leaves her feeling bare and exposed, not the loss of something physical the requires a cover to solve the problem.
RDM hits on the word Naivity immediately, he knows innocence is better but rightly figures it has been used in the previous verse and runs the risk of sounding repetitive if it is used again so soon! Naivity, while not ideal is close enough and better than the repetition. This kind of conflict occurs a lot in songwriting, and it is always a balancing act.
Thank you both, always appreciate your time and thoughts.
Sid
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So beautiful, sad and sweet. I'm always interested in learning, I'll have to study up on the Rochdale Grooming Gangs
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Yes, that makes more sense. Since it is an intangible (a concrete does not work there. I still have a very long way to go before I start pumping out lyrics like you guys.0
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You are trying to turn around a poetry supertanker, it takes time!
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