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Kayla813
United States
They love her
Everywhere she goes
They love that she puts on a show
But they don't know
She longs to go home
She misses it there
She misses the one she really loves
She misses the one that cares
Now
They tell her
Home is everywhere you go
They love you everywhere,you know
It's great, makes me feel strong
I waited so long
To help those in need find hope
Glad I can help everyone cope
But they don't know
She longs to go home
She misses it there
She misses the one she really loves
She misses the one that cares
I love you all the days of my life <3
Everywhere she goes
They love that she puts on a show
But they don't know
She longs to go home
She misses it there
She misses the one she really loves
She misses the one that cares
Now
They tell her
Home is everywhere you go
They love you everywhere,you know
It's great, makes me feel strong
I waited so long
To help those in need find hope
Glad I can help everyone cope
But they don't know
She longs to go home
She misses it there
She misses the one she really loves
She misses the one that cares
I love you all the days of my life <3
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Comments
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That is beautiful, well written.
Sounds as if you're in a better place of late, shows in your writing.
This is the Kayla I prefer!
The simplicity of the theme is well supported by the loveliness of the words and rhyme
This is you at your best, and I love it.
Sid
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I liked this and they message it conveys. Well done.
You're ability to evoke a sensation in the reader is there and can only evolve over time.
One thing I noticed is the person viewpoint shifts from third person with she, to first with I. I don't know enough about lyrics yet but in poetry we try to stay away from person focus shifts for clarity and consistency. Hope that made sense.
Put this to sound so we can hear it.0 -
Very nice!
Even though I'm sitting comfortably in my home right now, it somehow resonates with me on a deep level. Maybe just longing for a connection with all the people, places and things that I've loved and lost. I do like the simplicity also as Sid mentioned. Sometimes those are the best songs...ones that are easily relatable.
Good job! 😃
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