The Promise Made
The Promise Made
© 2024 Owen Hovenden
Link to music: https://soundcloud.com/rainydayman/the-promise-made
Like a spark on the wind
Like a bird on the wing
Carried on a whisper
Carried on her lips when I kissed her
Only you
Only you
The promise made
Sworn till my dying day
Every moment I breathe
Every dream that I dream
Life for life
Gift of the flame divine
Only you
Only you
The promise made
Lived every single day
Through the storm and the rain
Through the joy and the pain
In the dark of the night
These words are my guiding light
Only you
Only you
The promise made
Kept till my dying day
Comments
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An enjoyable new track, Owen. It's relaxing, melancholy, and somber. Very good and relatable lyrics with solid guitar work and clear production and sound. Your vocals authentically carried the message well. I like how you wrapped up the song with a guitar down-strum instead of a fade out. I enjoyed listening. Thanks for sharing. 😎
Cheers,
Joseph
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Nothing simple about that!
A beautiful story told with emotion and love.
Both the music and delivery were excellent.
Well done, loved it.
Best rhyme: Carried on a whisper
Carried on her lips when I kissed her
Sid
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Well done Owen, powerful, nice and simple . . . I got a vibe of dedication to love from the lyric, a most noble theme . . . and those rhymes of the ending lines "whisper" and "kissed her" are excellent in verse 1 (I'll have to try really hard not to use those in a future song, great stuff !), . . . also, another stand out lyric for me was "Gift of the flame divine" . . . much enjoyed the depth of the songwriting here ! Calls out for some orchestral strings.
Bruce
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@icystorm Thanks Joseph! Yes, I prefer a defined ending to a fade out in most cases, though there are certainly times it works well. Took me a while to find the right chord to finish on though!
@sidshovel Thank you Sid! Yes that rhyme works particularly well, especially how you have to wait on it.
@popitup Thanks Bruce! You're welcome to use the rhyme, no copyright on those! I'd be flattered, not upset. Yes, strings would be very appropriate, though I would still want to keep it fairly sparse. I play these songs live occasionally at my local open mic, so I test out how it will sound just with the guitar as that is how people are going to hear it. If it works with just the guitar, it will certainly work with proper instrumentation.
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There more I listen to this song, the more I am conflicted. I agree with popitup re more orchestration, yet the lyrics are so good they run the risk of the loss of impact. "Only You" spots may benefit from backing singers as a compromise, I'm out of my comfort zone on this. Would definitely be tempted to do something, too good to restrict it just for open mic demands!
If you do play around with it, please repost, love to hear how it sounds.
Sid
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Another beautiful song Owen. I especially like your guitar playing here. Lovely chord progressions and picking that I can only dream of doing. Yes, you could orchestrate it, but I think this sparse arrangement is the strength of it. Your vocals are great and it comes over to me as fabulous love song. I'd keep it just the way it is.😀
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@sidshovel If I rework it, I'll let you know. It may be one I live with for a while before deciding.
@ChrisPrice Thanks Chris! The music came first, and to me it sounded like a love song, so I went from there. It's not actually hard to play, but it came out well.
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