Razor Burn
Why are you always tired?
I know this ain’t the South.
Ain’t asking for a trad wife,
Just kisses, from your mouth.
But just like the horizon,
Your kisses, I can’t catch.
Every time I’m risin,
I’m met by all your doubts.
That shit burns.
I still yearn.
As I have come to learn,
Understanding tends to burn.
Once you’ve won a woman,
She’ll want you under her.
Under her.
That shit burns.
I still yearn.
You know just how I’m wired,
What I’m all about.
We fuck, you say you like it.
I know it’s just for clout.
Ain’t no doubt.
And that shit burns.
Got more to learn.
These days I’m forced to wonder,
Is it you or is it me?
Does it even matter?
Are we, Bad Company?
Maybe so.
That thought burns.
Was this earned?
Do I even deserve,
To be,
Under her?
As I have come to learn,
Understanding always burns.
Once you’ve won a woman,
You’ll always be, under her.
Under her.
That shit burns.
Still haven’t learned.
Now, myself, I’m tired.
Tired of this shit.
I focus on my work.
At least there, I’m legit.
That shit burns.
I still yearn.
Truth is I’m still wired.
Wired to want you.
I will gladly fuck,
If you’ll allow me to.
But as I’ve come to learn,
Insecurities trump yearn,
So here I am, just stuck with,
This fuckin razor burn.
That shit burns.
But now I’ve learned.
At least I’m finally done,
With razor burn.
I hate razor burn.
Comments
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Got a feel to it, and seems like it's portraying a dysfunctional relationship.
I don't understand how the structure of this works, but modern songs are pretty flexible in terms of verse/chorus/etc
I don't really get these lines:
Why are you always tired?
I know this ain’t the South.
But I'm not from the US, so maybe it's a regional thing.
Your rhyming scheme changes a lot. V1 rhymes lines 2 & 4 (mouth south), V2 rhymes lines 1 & 3 (horizon, risin), V3 seems to rhyme lines 1,2 & 4 (burn/learn/her). Brains are pretty sensitive to changes in patterns, so I expect your listeners will pick up on it, though whether you see that as a problem is up to you.
I don't understand how razor burn comes into it. As a metaphor it seems only loosely connected, though certainly razor burn is painful, but I feel like it's mainly there for the rhyme.
Personally not a fan of the swearing, but I can see it working in a modern style.
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Could just be me, I'm an older guy, but this comes over as sexist. I can cope with the swearing, if it emphasizes a point rather being there for the sake of it. I can imagine this being a rap or something. I'd be interested to hear where it went in the right hands. As it stands, it's not my cup of tea - sorry.
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Thanks both. Really appreciate the candid feedback.
The razor burn reference is intended as a metaphor for wasted/unreciprocated effort in (as RDM correctly observes) an often dysfunctional relationship. Not intended to be sexist at all. I’ll try to work that out in the next draft by coming up with a cleaner way to articulate complaints about shifting relationship dynamics.
I hear this one as sort of southern style rock (borderline modern country). Closest comparison would be something like Zach Bryan if it went in a more acoustic direction or Cadillac Three sounding if it went in a louder (?) direction.
Thanks again.0
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