lookin' 'round for more lyrics only
[intro Instrumental Guitar 8 bars]
[verse 1]
My head just keeps on spinnin',
with you is when I'm livin'.
Only girl don't want too much,
no more than I am givin'.
Push or pull, this way or that,
walk over me like some doormat.
[chorus]
Well I've givin' you all I got,
everythin', you asked me for.
One thing you gotta promise,
don't go lookin' 'round for more.
[instrumental 8 bars]
[verse 2]
Need you, forever by my side.
Someone I don't deserve,
show you off with pride.
Love me like, only you can do,
when I say I love you,
baby you know it's true.
[instrumental 8 bars]
[chorus]
Well I've givin' you all I got,
everythin', you asked me for.
One thing you gotta promise,
not to go lookin' 'round for more.
[bridge]
Love me like you got, everythin' to lose.
not here by your side, just for you to use.
[chorus]
Well I've givin' you all I got,
everythin', you asked me for.
One thing you gotta promise,
don't go lookin' 'round for more.
[outro]
don't go lookin' 'round for more.
lookin' 'round for more.
[Fade to End]
additional music and vocals on Soundcloud, Sid Shovel
Comments
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CHORUS I would change to:
Well I've givin' you all I got,
everythin', you asked me for.
One thing you gotta promise,
feel free to go lookin' round for more...
This adds a little twist and puts the narrator in a more solid position - sure, look around you won't find anymore better instead of begging the entire song
at the end you can repeat the
feel free to go lookin' round for more...
for middle section:
Need you, forever by my side.
I just want someone I deserve
Though it hurts my pride
when you love me like only you can do
when I say I love you,
baby you better believe it's true
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I like "don't go lookin' 'round for more" i think that's strong. I prefer that to "not to go lookin' 'round for more" in the 2nd chorus.
Not sure about "Someone I don't deserve" comes across as mixed emotions to me as they obviously have doubts about her in the rest of the song. But then, mixed emotions are part of life too.
The other line I'm unsure about is "not here by your side, just for you to use." Maybe "Make me your hero, not just someone you use".
I don't mind the AI music, but I hear it a little more upbeat, faster and with more energy than what it came up with.
Overall I think it's good, but it hasn't quite hit me the way some of your songs do.
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Thanks RDM,
As usual, good points. Tend to agree with all except, "Not sure about "Someone I don't deserve" comes across as mixed emotions to me". The mixed emotions are actually the crux of the song, see opening line! Trying to avoid past experiences of being used. Like the suggested line, probably dilute hero to man but good improvement. Ai, I'm going to give it a run with what you suggest and see how it pans out.
Good feedback, appreciated
Sid
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RDM,
Your right, upbeat sounds better. Used prompt: upbeat, country feel, changed hero to man, but Ai missed "not to" change to "don't"? Uploaded new version to soundcloud if you're interested.
Thanks,
Sid
0 -
Cool. Then you got exactly what you wanted!
Yep, the upbeat version is better. I like the way it's done "don't go lookin' 'round for more." and the 8 bar instrumentals too.
0 -
Thanks for that, great help as usual, appreciated.
While you're on the line, that's the second time you have looked at a set of my lyrics and knew there was a better choice of music than I picked for the Ai to construct. Is there some kind of trick to this, how can you tell by just looking at the words what music is better suited to the song?
Any tips
Sid
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Not sure I have a process I can articulate Sid, sometimes when I'm reading a lyric I just get a vague half-sense of what the music might be like (or at least one type of music that might fit)
And the clearer I can hear it, the better written I feel the lyric must be. Reading your first verse I just found myself falling into a rhythm, and a fairly fast one.
0 -
Ah well, thanks RDM.
Thought there was this magic bullet that would open a world of wonderment for me.
Forever destined to walk in a desert of monotonic monotony with nothing in my ears but wax!
Shoulders slumped, he shuffles off into the distance.
Sid
0
Howdy, Stranger!