Independence Day
Independence Day
© 2024 Owen Hovenden
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14762564
[Verse 1]
Crowds line the streets for the fourth of july parade
You're out there somewhere but I can't see your face
Celebrating independence, marching away
I watch from the window but I can't participate
[Chorus]
Hallelujah, celebrate
Waive the flag in praise
Cheer for freedom, mark the date
It's independence day
[verse 2]
Fireworks light up in the summer evening sky
But all I see is the empty space where you used to lie
Trapped in the memories of the life you've left behind
As the final notes of the anthem fade into the night
[chorus]
[Bridge]
You've cut the ties that bind us, set your sights on something new
In a bitter irony I can see my happiness depends on you
[chorus]
Comments
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I read the lyrics through a couple of times before playing the song track.
At first glance, I thought you may face a challenge maintaining the cadence on some lines.
The chorus looked good but the verses, I thought, may present a problem.
On playing the track, it became clear that your subtle changes of tempo overcame those concerns.
I liked it very much, it flowed smoothly. Enjoyed the lyrics, I'll leave others to comment on the music details but it sounded good to me.
The only thing that still niggles me is the 2nd line of the bridge, something doesn't sound right there.
Your comments as ever would be appreciated
Thanks
Sid
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A melancholy track, Owen. The lyrics and music fit well together. Nice guitar work as usual! I enjoyed listening. 😀
The lines tell a story of longing for what was, co-dependency, and missing the one who brought happiness.
These were the most emotive lines from my perspective.
You're out there somewhere but I can't see your face
I watch from the window but I can't participate
But all I see is the empty space where you used to lie
Trapped in the memories of the life you've left behind
You've cut the ties that bind us, set your sights on something new
In a bitter irony I can see my happiness depends on you
A sad story, but nice work!
Cheers,
Joseph
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@sidshovel Sid, you've nailed the two key features of this song.
The first being the long lines in the verses, the last syllable of which actually finishes on the first note of the next musical phrase, and creates a pause between lines. I was trying for a modern styling there.
The second is that 2nd line in the bridge. I've gone for a syncopated feel there, and I like how it came out, though I can certainly imagine others not doing so!
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@icystorm Yes definitely a sad one! Looking for contrast there between the celebration of Independence Day (the holiday) vs the breakup. And the whole thing is in minor key. Appreciate the thoughtful comments!
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Whoa! Far too technical for me Owen. I'm still struggling with cadence and syllable counts. Serves me right for trying to show off. Syncopated feel hey, and to think I don't even know what that means, I must be learning something, I just don't know what it is!!!
Back to my box.
Sid
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@sidshovel Syncopated is just off the beat 😉
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A clever song Owen. I like the i arrangement a lot, The lyrics are sad and yet the song has the kind of chorus which might just get everyone joining in - even if that was not your intention and even if they don't understand what it's about. I think this is excellent.😀
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@ChrisPrice Yes, the chorus is meant to be catchy and singable. I'm a little concerned that overall it's too repetitive, the chorus does vary from the verse, but maybe not enough.
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Having an anthem somewhere in the background is an intriguing idea, I'll have a play with that, thanks!
I do use chorus on vocals quite a bit, so it may be overdone here. Masks the out of tune singing!!
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I like this one0
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@Kayla813 Thank you Kayla!
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Good angle , independence day and break up
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@ElvisNash It's probably been done before somewhere (what hasn't?) but it's always nice to have overlaid meanings.
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