Simple Things
Hey all - Very open and please critique.
Originally written for my wife on Valentine's Day.
All opinions valid and appreciated. Thank you for looking.
https://www.reverbnation.com/harbingerroad/song/34374027-simple-things
Simple Things
I could feel your heart today
A simple little loving glance
Sweet warm smile made my day
Whispers to me with sweet romance
Warms my heart, fall again for you
Like the first time, tried and true
Simple things but mean so much
Love in your eyes, a tender touch
Sweet little simple things
Create so much feeling
Sweet little simple things
Give life so much meaning
Nothing too complicated, Ohh…
Let’s lay here and dream a while
Long hard day, life seeming bad
Clouds in the way of dreams we had
You walk in, don’t say too much
Your warm soft, little loving touch
The bad day now drifts away
I can see everything’s okay
The clouds part and I’m at rest
Lightest touch, runs the deepest
Such a sweet little simple thing
I look in your eyes, feel a smile
Flutter in my heart, says stay a while
I move in close, fragrance in the air
Warm soft skin, long flowing hair
All the world, it fades away
Only you and me here today
Tender moments, go by too fast
Let’s slow it down, make it last
Sweet little simple things
Build us up and make us smile
Sweet little simple things
Make our life, so worthwhile
Nothing too complicated, Ohh…
Let’s lay here and dream a while
Comments
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Now that's what I call a Valentines Day gift.
Beautiful song.
Sid
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Very much appreciated Sid.
I should have posted the actual song I did with it.
A little too rushed with a rough recording, but please check it out.
Maybe I'll wish I had left it as lyrics only.😯
https://www.reverbnation.com/harbingerroad/song/34374027-simple-things
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In the first instance, I'm not a musician, so I'll leave any musical feedback to others more qualified.
From a general listener pov, I thought this was a decent effort indeed.
The vocals which are good, tended to be drowned out by the music a bit.
Also, and I may be talking through my proverbial, but I think the words need a softer guitar style.
You did right to put the musical version up and I hope you send in more, I enjoyed your posting very much.
Hope this helps
Sid
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I very much appreciate the feedback, Sid.
I am an aspiring musician, but I certainly am not one at this point. My recordings are certainly very much amateurish at this point as well. I think drowning out the vocal is very valid and relates to my lack of recording experience. I'm sure you are correct about the guitar style with this also. As a beginning guitar player, it was as much as about trying to get something down that I could manage to put together on my own. In these initial phases I hope to create a foundation of something that could have merit and then improve upon them as I get better at doing this.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and giving me some very solid opinions. I think we are all here to share and get other points of view in an effort to improve and it takes openness and honest opinions to achieve that. I will certainly be looking to offer some feedback for you and others as well. I recognize it is important to give to others as you receive, so I will absolutely be looking to do that.
Oh, and I do have volumes of things that I have written, so be careful what you wish for. 😉
Thank you.
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Good for you! With that kind of attitude you will go far!
If your songs are half as good as your sense of humour, I for one, cannot wait
Sid
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This feels very real and heartfelt, so I'm not surprised to hear it was written for your wife. I hope she felt the love in it.
The song is about simple things that show love, and you've got them in there, a gesture, a touch, a look so that fits well. I think the uncomplicated and conversational style also fits here. Using the 2nd person makes it feel direct and intimate.
I also like the falsetto (or at least high) notes that you drop in there, gives it some spice!
Enjoyed my listen. 😀
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A lovely song. The recording isn't perfect but that doesn't matter here. Yes, I could imagine this with a more elaborate/polished arrangement, but your wife should be really moved by this. It's from the heart and that's what matters, and you sing it really well.
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Rainy and Chris,
Thank you both very much for checking it out and leaving your thoughts. Definitely from the heart, which is the sole purpose of why I write and love to sing. I’m not always as open as I should be in other aspects of my life and this is a wonderful medium to be expressive. I will be honest, I didn’t get much reaction to this from my wife beyond a polite thank you. I truly question everything I write and recognize I’m probably too close to it to be objective so I do like all critique, good or bad to ensure I’m seeing it correctly. Of course, not getting any real reaction to this especially left me looking for opinions. This is actually a very positive piece for me. I am usually told that much of what I write is very dark. I wouldn’t disagree. I have written to subjects for others in the past, so I can do that, but I normally write for myself first. It’s primarily my vehicle to share deep seated feelings, in a very therapeutic way. Getting feedback on those things is very helpful to me so I do appreciate it very much, but I would write what I write regardless. It’s a matter of trying to see beyond that bubble to recognize if I’m expressing myself effectively, or not recognizing how it may be perceived by others.
I will be looking to give you both feedback on things you’ve written as well. I know we are all here to share and get back some opinions and I’m not just a taker. I think it’s important we are all reciprocal here for this to be a successful endeavor. And while it’s nice to hear positive things, I truly do just want honesty. The right opinion is an honest opinion and that’s where the value is. Thank you again for taking the time and sharing your thoughts. It is appreciated.0 -
I enjoyed this and found it sweet. I also wrote a song called Simple Things and it's about the same thing - enjoyment of the little things in life. Thank you for sharing a special song.
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Thank you so much for your comment. I searched for Simple Things after I posted this and was quite surprised by how many songs there are out there with this title. It isn’t a complete surprise that there are some because it would seem to be a well known concept, but I still didn’t expect so many preexisting titles like that.1
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Wow, what a sweet tune. You have a great voice. Very touching.
I wanted a 2nd chorus after the 2nd round of verses instead of your short pause "Such a sweet little simple thing".
I really liked the key change in the chorus chords and melody. Reminded me of a rough cut of a Graham Parsons tune meets Syd Barrett solo....Keep it up, man! You're doing really cool work.
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Thanks so much Rob. Truly appreciated.
And constructive suggestions are always appreciated. Other opinions always help us get out of the box a little bit and maybe see something we otherwise wouldn't have, so thank you.
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Howdy, Stranger!