Memory of Three Lyrics

Kayla813
Kayla813 United States
in Original Songs & Lyrics for review
Toss
Turn
When will I learn?
Why did I let it burn?

We were young
It was fun
I dropped n
of the nun

You picked me up when I fell
You laughed at me
When I went through hell

Stood by my side
Took me for a long ride

Now I hear you died
All I want to do is cry

Comments

  • ChrisPrice
    ChrisPrice

    This comes over as being very personal and sad. Obviously I don't know the background to it, so it's hard for me to say much more about the words. I'm thinking that a solo vocal along with an acoustic guitar or piano and maybe some light strings would work with this. It's short so there's room for an instrumental break between the verses and again at the end.

    Just one or two loose ideas.

  • RainyDayMan
    RainyDayMan

    I feel like this lyric might be more meaningful to you than to other people reading it.

    For me, I look at the title and wonder where the "three" comes from. Is there a third person involved who is not mentioned in the lyric? Is it something that happened 3 years ago ?

    And what do these lines mean:

    I dropped n

    of the nun

    So to be clear, I'm not asking you to explain in your comments, but asking you whether the lyric is for yourself or for others. If it's for yourself, then no problem. If you want to communicate something to others, then the explanation needs to be in the lyrics themselves. That said, many lyrics leave a lot to interpretation of the listener.

    There is plenty of emotion coming through, which is a good thing, and something you often do well.

    It's both sparse (few words) and short in overall length. I think there's room there to develop it more, and maybe try for a tighter structure across the whole lyric.

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User]
    edited February 2024

    You've composed another set of interesting lyrics, Kayla. It seems like a story with a lot of mixed emotions. I wanted to ask about the lines 'I dropped n of the nun', but I see Owen beat me too it! 🤣 I tend to like abstract lyrics. so it sounds cool to me regardless of what it means. Nice work! 😀

    Cheers,

    Joseph

  • Kayla813
    Kayla813 United States
    This was a fast quick type I needed to get out, it's about my 3rd ex boyfriend that I found out recently passed away
  • robcrozier
    robcrozier Ann Arbor,MI

    Thanks for sharing such raw lyrics. It would be interesting to see what scrambling up the lines would offer in terms of variety:

    My 2 cents



    I hear you died

    Took me for a long ride


    Toss

    We were young


    Turn

    When will I learn?


    It was fun

    Why did I let it burn?


    I dropped n 

    of the nun


    You picked me up when I fell

    You laughed at me 

    When I went through hell


    Stood by my side

    All I want to do is cry

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