Over You (repost)

jgkojak2
jgkojak2 Lawrence, KS

i think I had posted this on the old site...

...however, something odd with this song. I have it posted on Audiomack and it is by far my most played track there - there are usually 2-3 new plays a week, and geographically they are all over the world. It may be a glitch, but thought I'd repost this here.

Some other background... this song dates to 1984(!!!)

OVER YOU

https://soundcloud.com/sean-swindler/over-you-2?si=a2723228e2c44205a079fdf778eeddec&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

Over you do you think I'd fall

Over you do you think I'd crawl

Over you do you think I'd fall back over you

not over you

Over you do you think I'd lie

Over you do you think I'd die

Over you do you think I'd cry out

Over you not over

I would do anything to let myself down

Easy

I'd make all the right moves out on the town

So you could see

And if I'd happen to see you around

Do you think I'd hide out over you

Tear my pride out over you

Won't be denied now not over you

Not over you not over you

I would do anything to not make the same

Big mistake

You thought I was sleeping

but now I'm wide awake

Over you do you think I'd

Give up on love

Over you when

Push comes to shove

Over you would I rise above

Up over you yes up over you

Comments

  • I don't think I've heard this one before. I like the song and the arrangement is okay in the main. In terms of rhythm however it is rather disjointed/out of sync in places. Consequently the vocal sounds a bit unsure at times. It's also a bit repetitive.

    I'd say that, as a demo, this gets the song over well enough. It would be well worth revisiting in my opinion.😀

  • I think you've composed a good song. Your style reminds me a little of Joe Jackson from the 80s. I hope you get back to this one and develop it.

    Cheers,

    Joseph

  • [Deleted User]
    edited January 27

    This is so far from good. Other's are being nice. Out of time. Singing sounds like a dog that got shot. I don't get how anyone liked this... Are you a beginner? The responses make me rethink any feed back from the posted members as genuine.

  • @Autopart101 Negative feedback on songs is acceptable, and can be helpful, but should still be respectful, and when possible constructive, meaning with specific suggestions on how to improve

  • How to improve this song. Delete it.

    #1. Specific suggestion- Sing the song in key.

    #2. play the song in time. Keyboard part is so out of time.

    #3. This is just a spoken word song with no melody. ( Songs have Melody's) The writer has no ear and does not understand Music at all.


    Joe

  • ChrisPrice
    edited February 9

    @Autopart101 Ooh, that's very harsh Joe. You don't have to like every contribution here, but I would never tell anyone to delete their song.

  • @Autopart101 The aim of this forum is to help others with their songwriting. Consider whether receiving such a comment would help you with your songs, before posting it to others. Negative comments are acceptable, but if you having nothing helpful to say, consider saying nothing. Also, comments about a song are acceptable, comments about a songwriter are not

  • KatiesPRIDE
    KatiesPRIDE Hertfordshire

    Even as a non musician, I can see that this needs some work on it, but it also comes from a soul and needs to be shared.

    Nobody Knows the circumstances that lead to someone writing such lyrics, and the place that they come from.

    Ok it's not great in some peoples eyes, but we are all here learn, improve and hopefully grow as Individuals -all on our own journeys.

    Lyrics and music are a way of expressing ourselves. Some are able to do that better than others. I hope that people might might make positive criticisms and remarks and suggestions that others can take away and use- and next time there will be an improvement.

    How good would that feel to help on another's journey.

    As for a review, there's clearly a lot of feeling in the lyrics .

    Keep writing and playing

    Katie x

  • Sometimes the Truth needs to be told. Everyone that listened to that song feels as I posted. They just do not have the courage to post what needs to be said. This kind of criticism can help people realize the truth. A harsh review of my songs/clips would not stop me from returning. I do enjoy most of what is posted. There are members that are pros on this forum. They can play, write and sing. That's why I keep coming back!

    Much Love

    Joe

  • icystorm
    edited February 25

    Everyone that listened to that song feels as I posted. They just do not have the courage to post what needs to be said.

    Has anything been bothering you lately, Joe? You used to be a cool poster and contributor, but something changed with you over the last six months or so. I sincerely hope you get better and improve from whatever's troubling you.

    Regarding your comments, "everyone" clearly does not "feel" the same as you about the song. I judged the song itself, not the performance. I do not appreciate being called a liar. This isn't the first time you suggested that those who disagree with you are dishonest liars. You do not have the right to speak for anyone else. Also, please do not confuse stupidity, childish uncoothness, and the ability to post diatribes of hate against @jgkojak2 from the safety of your living room with "courage". It's easy to hide behind a keyboard and run one's mouth. That requires no courage. Instead, why not just ignore those you do not like, or simply offer courteous suggestions for improvement? It's very easy to simply pass over posts and not respond to annoying posts, content, and/or posters you do not like.

    So lighten up, post a good song we can enjoy, and lay off with the attacks on @jgkojak2.

    Remember, this is a songwriters forum, not a "final version, spit and polished, radio-ready song" forum. Some people can write decent songs, but can't sing in tune or in time. For example, Rod Temperton wrote numerous big hits, but he couldn't sing. Know the difference.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2vj3YoEzOQ

    Cheers,

    Joseph

  • Closing this thread, as it has gone well off-topic and is no longer constructive.

    Joe, we can continue this conversation privately if you wish.

This discussion has been closed.

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